“How to Ride a Motorcycle” Book Review

Cheesebeast's real name is Leif? Merryfield?

Come on.

All kidding aside, good stuff. Keep it coming.

"Leif" was a rough name to grow up with. This time of year was the worst. The first day of school, and the usual chorus: "Leaf? Like on a tree? Bwhahahaha!" "What is your brother named, Shrub?" On and on. Then Fall came around, and a fresh crop of leaf jokes.

I was named after a viking, which is pretty cool. Unfortunately "leif" translates into "beloved" in Norse. Figures...

Is this thing on?

Cheesebeast said:

"Leif" was a rough name to grow up with. This time of year was the worst. The first day of school, and the usual chorus: "Leaf? Like on a tree? Bwhahahaha!" "What is your brother named, Shrub?" On and on. Then Fall came around, and a fresh crop of leaf jokes.

I was named after a viking, which is pretty cool. Unfortunately "leif" translates into "beloved" in Norse. Figures...

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I thought you were going to say the kids asked you: "So, is your last name "Blower?"

I'll be here all week. Try the veal, it's exquisite tonight.

PS: I feel your pain. I can't tell you how many times I heard some variation of the "KenMore" washer/dryer joke. And every damn one of them thought they'd just thought it up.

That's nothing. Try "Creech" on for size sometime.

Almost forgot:

Nice review. I'll probably add this one to my library, if only to loan it to friends I can't convince that Motorcycling is Dangerous and a really Bad Idea.

Cheesebeast said:

"Leif" was a rough name to grow up with. This time of year was the worst. The first day of school, and the usual chorus: "Leaf? Like on a tree? Bwhahahaha!" "What is your brother named, Shrub?" On and on. Then Fall came around, and a fresh crop of leaf jokes.

I was named after a viking, which is pretty cool. Unfortunately "leif" translates into "beloved" in Norse. Figures...

Click to expand...

Sven: How's it going Oly?

Oly: Hey Sven. I got a new snowmobile for my wife!

Sven: Hey Oly, that's a good trade if you can do it.

I wouldn't trade my name now. I have too much ridicule equity invested in it.

I would trade it for Spartacus, though. SPARTACUS! Table for six for SPARTACUS!

That would be wicked awesome.

I'm not so sure about this book. Part of me wants to see everyone else go through the same pain I did through learning to ride without any advice... except stupid advice like, "Never use the front brake" or "Learn how to lay 'er down".

Well then...

Kenneth_Moore said:

PS: I feel your pain. I can't tell you how many times I heard some variation of the "KenMore" washer/dryer joke. And every damn one of them thought they'd just thought it up.

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.... at least you were prepared for the "originality" we hear all the time from the non-riding public. How many times have you heard someone call bikes "donorcycles" as if it's the cleverest thing in the world? When someone says that to me I usually say, "We have names for non-riders, too. Pu$$y boy is a good one. Want to bandy more insults?" Usually they change the subject and go away. That knife I carry in my teeth might have something to do with it too.

Nice write up, but is there a chapter on what kind of oil to use? Newbies need to learn this stuff.

Last Call for Spartacus, Party of 300!

Cheesebeast said:

I wouldn't trade my name now. I have too much ridicule equity invested in it.

I would trade it for Spartacus, though. SPARTACUS! Table for six for SPARTACUS!

That would be wicked awesome.

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No problemo, just tell the Hostess "Spartacus" when you step up to the podium. Me, I just wait for the hostess to call the same name twice and then take the table. If they're looking for four and there's only two of us, "the other couple will be right here." So far I only got busted once...I just looked confused and said I thought they called my name.

Spartacus?

Kenneth_Moore said:

No problemo, just tell the Hostess "Spartacus" when you step up to the podium. Me, I just wait for the hostess to call the same name twice and then take the table. If they're looking for four and there's only two of us, "the other couple will be right here." So far I only got busted once...I just looked confused and said I thought they called my name.

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I think "Sweaty Boatman" has mountains more cool than Spartacus.

"Swarthy *****" used to be my favorite, but it seems to have fallen out of favor here of late.

Oil???

The book is about learning to ride and skirts around religious topics like oil. There is some mention of basic maintenance, though.

I remember the first time I switched to synthetic. You always remember your first... I didn't think Amsoil was a very good name for an oil. It sounded dirty. Paying $9.00 a quart made me feel dirty, at least.

Lube For Newbs, unfortunately, wasn't a topic covered in this book.

Cheesebeast said:

Oil???

Lube For Newbs, unfortunately, wasn't a topic covered in this book.

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What about Lube for NUBES?

I'll send you some pirate shirts for your birthday!

Avast! You warming up for September 19th?

September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Any tradition started by a trio named Cap'n Slappy, Pilferin' Pooter and Ol'Chumbucket can't be ALL bad.

I doubt Al Gore envisioned Talk Like A Pirate Day - September 19 when he invented the internet.