[Kenneth_Moore]

Is this thing on?

"Leif" was a rough name to grow up with. This time of year was the worst. The first day of school, and the usual chorus: "Leaf? Like on a tree? Bwhahahaha!" "What is your brother named, Shrub?" On and on. Then Fall came around, and a fresh crop of leaf jokes.

I was named after a viking, which is pretty cool. Unfortunately "leif" translates into "beloved" in Norse. Figures...

I thought you were going to say the kids asked you: "So, is your last name "Blower?"

I'll be here all week. Try the veal, it's exquisite tonight.

 

[Kenneth_Moore]

PS: I feel your pain. I can't tell you how many times I heard some variation of the "KenMore" washer/dryer joke. And every damn one of them thought they'd just thought it up.

 

[Kenneth_Moore]

Last Call for Spartacus, Party of 300!

I wouldn't trade my name now. I have too much ridicule equity invested in it.

I would trade it for Spartacus, though. SPARTACUS! Table for six for SPARTACUS!

That would be wicked awesome.

No problemo, just tell the Hostess "Spartacus" when you step up to the podium. Me, I just wait for the hostess to call the same name twice and then take the table. If they're looking for four and there's only two of us, "the other couple will be right here." So far I only got busted once...I just looked confused and said I thought they called my name.

 

[Kenneth_Moore]

"Swarthy *****" used to be my favorite, but it seems to have fallen out of favor here of late.

 

[Kenneth_Moore]

Speaking of Which

Avast! You warming up for September 19th?

September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Any tradition started by a trio named Cap'n Slappy, Pilferin' Pooter and Ol'Chumbucket can't be ALL bad.

I doubt Al Gore envisioned Talk Like A Pirate Day - September 19 when he invented the internet.

You might want to get up to speed in preparation for the big day:

The Pirate Game: Pirate Glossary