2006 Motorcycle.com “Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest”

Re: 2006 Motorcycle.com "Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest"

Dear MO-

I never believed the contest submissions you received were real, until I had a mind-blowing experience I'd like to share with your readers.

I was riding my ZX6R Ninja (the finest, most perfect motorcycle on the planet) to the gym when the biodiesel car in front of me lost its drainpan and spewed french-fry grease all over the road. As the bike slid out from under me and I slid into the sticky goo, I couldn't help thinking what a totally awesome alternative energy source this would be for people who are not me. Then I blacked out as an errant french fry had made its way into my throat, cutting off my breathing and, even more frightening, making it impossible for me to opine aloud, as I often do when I have no keyboard available.

I came to after receiving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from none other than the delectable Eric Bostrom! (who is a far superior rider than his V-Twin-riding brother, Ben). Eric looked deep into my grease-filmed eyes and said, "You look like a well-educated, super-intelligent Pacific Northwest blue-stater. Would you like to attend my track school?"

I couldn't believe it! It's been my dream, or at least much-talked-about vague plan, to attend a track school!

"Sure!" I said. "What do I have to do?"

"Well, first, you have to help me with my plan to impeach George Bush. Do you know that he has presided over the worst 5.6-year economic downturn in American history since 1992? And that he has squandered the good will of the international community which loved us so much before he stole the 2000 election by using Halliburton employees to mislead Dade County voters into voting for Whitman Mayo instead of Al Gore on a caterpillar ballot designed by Jack Abramoff with the assistance of..."

"Oh, God!" I screamed, as a thunderous orgasm ripped through me.

Biodiesel rocks.

-kpaul-