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2006 “Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest”

14337 Views 75 Replies 26 Participants Last post by  Casey_Daniel
Re: 2006 "Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest"

Dear MO-

I never believed the contest submissions you received were real, until I had a mind-blowing experience I'd like to share with your readers.

I was riding my ZX6R Ninja (the finest, most perfect motorcycle on the planet) to the gym when the biodiesel car in front of me lost its drainpan and spewed french-fry grease all over the road. As the bike slid out from under me and I slid into the sticky goo, I couldn't help thinking what a totally awesome alternative energy source this would be for people who are not me. Then I blacked out as an errant french fry had made its way into my throat, cutting off my breathing and, even more frightening, making it impossible for me to opine aloud, as I often do when I have no keyboard available.

I came to after receiving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from none other than the delectable Eric Bostrom! (who is a far superior rider than his V-Twin-riding brother, Ben). Eric looked deep into my grease-filmed eyes and said, "You look like a well-educated, super-intelligent Pacific Northwest blue-stater. Would you like to attend my track school?"

I couldn't believe it! It's been my dream, or at least much-talked-about vague plan, to attend a track school!

"Sure!" I said. "What do I have to do?"

"Well, first, you have to help me with my plan to impeach George Bush. Do you know that he has presided over the worst 5.6-year economic downturn in American history since 1992? And that he has squandered the good will of the international community which loved us so much before he stole the 2000 election by using Halliburton employees to mislead Dade County voters into voting for Whitman Mayo instead of Al Gore on a caterpillar ballot designed by Jack Abramoff with the assistance of..."

"Oh, God!" I screamed, as a thunderous orgasm ripped through me.

Biodiesel rocks.

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Re: Rules

schizuki, you should enter. Funny stuff. Kpaul's been on good behaviour -- he was (shockingly!) the voice of reason in another recent thread -- so you shouldn't taunt him!

Nothing says you have to have owned a Kawasaki, it can be an enthusiats' point of view...

We could use that fabulous picture Fonzie made of a young Michael Douglass!


Re: 2006 "Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest"

Pity I dont live in the USA!!

Dude: frickin allcaps, ok? Allcaps dope, makin stupid fun of kpaul not dope. Like kicking baby. No doubt strongest effort schiz could manage, still not funny.
Re: 2006 "Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest"

funny funny! hahaha! make funnny about homos, kpaul, enviros! funnny funnnny! very funny american joke, *******. china still own you ***** 6 ways to sunday, *******!

Do us all a favor and ***** off to Canada already ...
Re: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

whatever, troll. Get a ***** motorcycle. Or is your 82 virago running now?
Re: 2006 "Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest"

Apparently you have a whole barn full of sacred cows.
Re: 2006 "Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest"

"funny funny! hahaha! make funnny about homos, kpaul, enviros! funnny funnnny! very funny american joke, *******. china still own you ***** 6 ways to sunday, *******!"

Well, le mot juste, Oscar Wilde. I dare not engage in verbal repartee with so formidable a foe. The field is yours, sir.

You know, kpaul is always talking about the superior intelligence of left-wingers (and he's given you plenty of attaboys.) And I read your randomly-punctuated, creatively-spelled, electroshock-reasoned posts and just scratch my puzzled head.

The disconnect between belief and observable reality is staggering.

It could be the disconnect between belief and observable reality. Or it could be that you're scratching your head because you simply don't have the intellectual power to carry my freaking bags. I suspect you will never know. Enjoy your little jokes.

I don't ***** around like kpaul. If you're a ***** dumbass, I call it like it is. Kpaul wants to get along with the ***** rightwing idiots. I don't give a ***** where you idiots end up. Your observable reality and mine are worlds apart. It's called a differend.

The one thing you should be able to understand about me: I don't start *****. I never have. Kpaul starts *****. You, longride, pencildx, all the rightwing schmoes start *****. I just pick up your crap and drag it through the mud. It's beneath me, but I'm not one to try and get along, and I'm not one to get slapped and act like I deserved it.

If you and yours were students of history, you would understand that when things go right, next up they go left. People like me want it not to go too far left, but idiots like you keep pushing it right, not understanding that there will be a backlash. Enjoy, fool.

PS I'm not really very left. You people are just so foolishly right that I seem left.
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Re: 2006 "Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest"

What is this, sacred cow? My barn is full of cows, but I don't know this 'sacred'.
Re: 2006 "Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest"

Wow, you are smart. I take it all back. Smacking me as a ***? I never would have guessed you would go that card. Very unique. Very smart. I am impressed.

Why is it that motoguys are so commonly conservative, reactionary fools? Is it some genetic encoding I missed out on? Why are so many of you douchebags so completely boring in this way? I would think that riding a bike would be subversive enough that a fair amount of riders would be able to break free of the mainstream drivel. I guess in this one, isolated case, I am wrong. It happens to the best of us.
Re: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Get a ***** motorcycle"

... and you get a life.
Re: 2006 "Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest"

Sarcasm, satire, irony . . ? I choose to believe you too believe what you wrote, in which case I applaud your missive and hope that the those close-minded, knee-jerk wingnuts one finds on the "internets" (thanks W.) will pause for a moment, reflect on the sorry state of the world and our nation, and piece together in their vacuous craniums that, oh yeah, I voted for that twit and you know, I'm man enough to admit that I made a mistake and not so reactionary as to merely respond by suggesting those I disagree with should just get the hell out of my country . . . naaaaa, never happen. Good piece 'o writting. Ride on!

I never responded to one word you ever said on this site, so let's drop the 'innocent victim' bull$hit. It's best you keep my name out of your mouth, ****head. You have been smart enough to stay out of my way lately, but I guess you got some beer muscles lately, and want to show everyone how tough and smart you are. This just in. Nobody really gives a flying f*ck about how smart you think you are. Quit breaking your arm patting yourself on the back. You seem to do it alot, because nobody else is. You're 'superior intelligence' must have eluded us all, so please keep reminding us, lest we forget. Like I told you last time you started shyt with me, everyone knows me here. I've been here a long time. They know my name, where I live, and how to get in touch with me. I'm right here in the open. I really like anonymous assholes like you that call people names, and hide behind their keyboard. KPaul was invited to show his face here on MO and has never done so. I know guys that went there to ride with him when they were in town and he hid. I'm inviting you. Post up a name and address and email address, or come on over and we can have a face to face, and we'll see how badass you feel then. I ain't skeeerd, how bout you? If you don't have the guts to do that, you are just as big a coward as I knew you were. In the meantime, feel free to hide behind your monitor and take shots at me, cause I can fire right back. It's all you have ever done since you got here. If you have the guts to back up that tough talk with some personal info, then come on out and play.
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You all are no match for fastoldman here. The essay I linked below -- by a official intarweb historian -- just shows how outclassed you all are. fastoldman's superior insult-fu got you in his fake email address! Ha! Ha!

I don’t know who the first person was to win an argument on the internet by playing the "mother’s basement" card, but it must have been a beauty. Since then, it has been the unbeatable trump card of internet debate. It’s more powerful than the "you’re fat" card, the Hitler-comparison card, or even the "you’ll never touch a girl" card. The mother’s basement image evokes powerful images of isolation, immaturity and virginity like no other internet insult can.

When scary-smart internet-champion fastoldman's not stomping the competition at MO, he's at Brookhaven labs, starting fusion reactors-- with his mind.
Someone needs to "Take a Big Swim in Lake You"

Online Therapy:

Self-Love Therapy:

Mental Health:

Remember; May Is Mental Health Month!

Now go give yourself a giant mental hug of love, put on your happy pants and tell that big bad anger monster that only Happy Smile Fairies are aloud to stay at Hotel You!
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Re: 2006 "Kawasaki Fantasy Racing Weekend Contest"

Um...eewwww! :)
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