In a related story, L'Osservatore Romano, the Vatican's official news outlet, reported it will be celebrating the 2003rd Anniversary of making christians.
All priests ordained in 2003 will wear the traditional "offcial" color of the church: black, but will come with anniversary pinstriping.
Also, all babies baptized into the Faith will be sprinkled with molten gold to commemorate the anniversary.
In a statement, papal spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls said: "As the world's oldest continuous manufacturor of believers, we feel that every anniversary is increasingly more important than the last, because it not only marks another year of good works committed, but also one less year until our Lord returns in glory. "
In a surprising move, Vatican financial official Francis Cardinal Stafford announced a cross-marketing agreement with Harley-Davidson.
"As the two oldest organizations of any kind in the whole entire world, The Roman Catholic Church and the Motor Company thought it natural to embrace the eccumenical and financial benefits of joint venture."
Willie G Davidson was also present at the press conference and had this to say: "Well, His emminence came to us with the proposal, and we met with Jeff (Bleustein, Chairman.CEO of H-D) and the similarities were just out-of-this-world, Man!" Whether Willie G was reffering to actual supernatural resemblances, he could not say. "I mean, both organizations dominate their respective markets; both Harleys and catholic priests look best in basic black; both firms are huge, built on tradition, offering timeless, classic designs and ideas; both are more than a product or a service, but a "lifestyle"; nevermind the V-twin and the Cross...whoa!; and hey, both are necessary to save your soul, Brother!"
His Holiness, Pope John Paul II could not be reached for comment, but sources say he is on retreat at the summer residence of Castel Gondolfo, where he is reported to be supervising construction of a boulevard to "cruze down, yo" and that he is "really diggin'" his jewell-encrusted Low Rider ("He's older and don't around so good no more", said Navarro-Valls on the Holy Father's model choice, adding that "No model of Harley is more or less meritorius of grace from our Lord, but His Holiness does think the "Carmelite Grey" Sportster and the new Road Queen, in honor of Our Lady, in "Heavenly Blue" are especially nice.")
Cardinal Stafford and Willie G together unveiled the new joint anniversary 100th/2003rd Sotftail, which features "new technology" such as special Crusader badging and a relic of an actual saint. "Hey, Man, chrome may not get you home, but the fingerbone of St. Anthony, Patron of All That Is Lost sure will, Bro!", said Davisdson. The officials noted that "Cassock Black" will only be available as a "clergyman's special" from now on, and noted that the MoCo and the Church are finalizing the paperwork to issue a Harley to every priest. "Bishops will get the Ford Truck, too, " Stafford said.