A New Phantom Has Arrived

Apologies and a change ...

Gentlemen,
First off, my apologies if my post was seen as nothing more than a ruse to make people go to places to which they do not wish. I am a strong believer in the will of man and doubt that such strong willed folk as yourselves could be wooed into doing something against your will. We simply wish to let people know that we have returned...from the beyond as it were. We have been instructed by our venerable secretary, Mrs. Ramsbottom, that the interweb or whatever you call this thing, is the way in which humans now do this. Long gone are the days of the penny post I suppose....<sigh>. Anyway, my apologies if my previous post proved to be too distracting or otherwise some sort of block in the normal flow of conversation. I will endeavour not to further aggravate you with such things.
For those of you interested in the goings on here at the Phantom works, then let me also pass on the sad information that the show where we had hoped to publicly display our handiwork has been canceled. So we are thinking of how we might still present our work to an interested public. I hope that I will not offend if I bring any updated information regarding this issue to this august panel. We are thinking of publishing some advance photos on our website in the next three weeks and here of course too if we can figure out how such a thing might be done.
As for Spagthorpe...such a tragic tale. Personally, I thought the man a genius at first. But then, as is frequently the case in the high born, tragedy seems to shadow such figures. I believe his engineering prowess began its decline with his dogged exploration of square wheels for off-road conveyances. He believed there was a certain pattern of protrusion and depression in nature's surfaces and that if the wheel was of the correct dimensions it could pass over the high bits and land the corners in the low bits thus resulting in a smooth ride. Nature proved a bit more chaotic and uncooperative and I do not believe old Spagthorpe ever forgave mother nature for her insolence.

Tally Ho!

Many Thanks...

Gentlemen,
Many thanks for your kind welcome and allowing me to attune myself to your etiquette. My manners and customs are bit out of tune it seems with the times. Your patience with me is truly appreciated.
I must say I am aghast at the encyclopaedic knowledge that seems to reside in the collective mind of this community. And I am filled with joy to see the level of openness you all have with one another in sharing experiences -- bravo!
In my experience little was shared. My father once told me that discovery brings people together and invention tears them apart. I believe that he equated invention with commercial exploitation of discovery. We at Phantom learned how true his words were back in 1925.
After creating our unique "Sneezer" fuel atomiser, we showed it on our latest machine at the Bognor Festival of Machinery. Little did we know that two of our competitors were there and they made very close inspections of the device whilst we were exploring the ice lolly stand opposite run by a rather buxom lass named Nell...I digress.
Within weeks other manufacturers began displaying copies of the "Sneezer" claiming it as their own. We moved quickly to patent the device but the cat was out of the bag as they say. In the end we only sought British patents (due to high legal costs) for our other inventions such as our "Double Clamper" braking system and our "Bladraulic" steering and suspension system.
In the end we decided to put our limited resources directly into the machines we produce rather than into the pockets of lawyers wherever possible. In the end I believe it was the right decision as we have always been able to maintain a level of quality and attention to detail and distinctiveness -- the hallmarks of a gentleman's mount -- and survive..in a fashion.
We are seeking an alternative venue for sharing our new machine with the public and will surely let you all know when we do. In the meantime, best wishes to you all!

Tally Ho!

Ahh, the Twizzler

After the FH, the Twizzler was my favourite... the development of the incendiary starting mechanism, (which was later developed further and used on the Canberra aircraft) was one example of a great idea that we just didn't have the luxury of time or resources to fully develop.

We at Phantom have never shied away from the potential risks associated with inflammable compounds or incindiary device. I would in fact go so far as to say we all had quite a soft spot for things that burned. Why else would we be so excited about the methanol reactor or the internal combustion engine?

Our common practice, when testing model prototype is to have Titus prepare the machine and have Enoch ride it. Titus, though a bit of a rough character to some, was a diligent spanner man of the highest caliber. And Enoch had a penchant and skill for speed that was unequaled amongst our firm.

It is interesting that you suggest a "robust" charge be applied to the starting mechanism to get the motor to "turn over". This was our thinking exactly. We purchased a variety of pinwheels and rocket devices from the Chinese Market in Liverpool. Sadly, the seller spoke little of The King's English so communication was strained to put it mildly. Regardless, we had a good sample of various devices to test.

As was usual with us, Titus rolled out the Twizzler 01 and attached what he felt would be an adequate charge to start the motor. He tickled and set the levels of fuel and air in the "Sneezer" and set fire to the short fuse attached to the two-rocket pinwheel starting mechanism. Almost immediately the device ignited and emitted a loud howl, a cloud of white smoke, and a shower of sparks that engulfed poor Titus in the wink of an eye. We then heard, from the heart of the cloud, a series of bangs, a scream, and the motor of the Twizzler running at high speed and then .....silence. The smoke cleared and we saw Titus flat out on his back with the entire front of his coverall burnt off his body, exposing his undergarments, and all the hair from his face and the front of his bonce completely singed off. At his foot, or rather on it, was resting the upside-down and charred remains of the Twizzler.
Apparently Titus had underestimated the power of his selected rockets. Upon lighting the fuse, which was far too short, the rocket turned an inch and then locked and proceeded to launch the entire machine off the ground. It hit Titus in the face and knocked him on his back and ignited his coverall in one swift motion as Titus was permanently covered in some for or another of lubricant. Titus claims he saw The Twizzler perform a complete loop avbove him and the engine starting before crashing down on his left foot -- hence the scream.
After a few subsequent tests we found that a slightly smaller rocket attached to a metal plate was sufficient to start the motor. but the system demanded the rider to stand by with a water supply as it was necessary to douse the rocket as soon as the motor had started. Our solicitor warned us of possible legal issues arising from requiring our customers to carry incendiary devices on them whenever using our product.
About that time we devised a means of manually regulating spark timing such that "kick" starting became a practical possibility. the starting procedure reverted to one similar to our earliest machines with kicking replacing running. It was mildly labour saving but not by much. We determined that autocycle was destined to be a young man's pursuit anyway so we stuck with that approach.
We understand that most other manufacturers now employ electrically powered starting motors so that older and more sedentary gentlemen may still partake of the pleasures of riding and we salute them. But I fear that we are perhaps too stuck in our ways to entertain such complexity in our machines. But we shall see what time tells..

Cheerio!

You gentlemen are very correct. We are all avid fans of scramblers here at Phantom. Personally I like this one machine one of the new lads has resting in the works. He spends a lot of time trying to get it started, to the degree that one of his legs looks significantly bigger than the other. It is a 1981 Maico 490 Mega 2. I must say that it is louder than any Phantom every produced, including The Fanny Hammer! It is also the one machine in the works that no other rider will ride. Mind you, Enoch has said that, if he still had legs, he would happily give it a go.

As for films, we have found that British Pathe has a collection of films about 1930s OIM TT races. We are enquiring as to the possibility of them allowing us to display free samples of these films on the Phantom site. Sadly, no response as yet. We seem to be running up against a fair bit of "Mortalism" these days -- a prejudice against the dead. A strange phenomenon to our thinking, especially considering all of you will eventually become one of us as it were...

Oh, and there are many photographs of the completed Phantom EG on Sporting Vintage Motorbikes for Discerning Gentlemen if you are interested. We took them last week at Brooklands.