[seruzawa]

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

 

[sarnali2]

Chuck Norris can round house kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting everyone, everywhere in the face, at any time

 

[MOKE1K]

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

 

[MOKE1K]

Chuck Norris once traveled to Jupiter when suddenly a planet got in the way. Thus the Asteroid Belt.

Chuck Norris has also already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

 

[sarnali2]

There's no such thing as "tornado's" Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks...

 

[seruzawa]

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

 

[sarnali2]

Nothing can escape a Black Hole except Chuck Norris. he eats Black Holes, they taste like chicken.

 

[seruzawa]

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

 

[Buzglyd]

On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard.

As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

 

[ejis]

Chuck Norris is classified as a weapon of mass destruction.

 

[pplassm]

Nothing can escape a Black Hole except Chuck Norris. he eats Black Holes, they taste like chicken.

Black Holes?

 

[sarnali2]

Chuck Norris doesn't have sex with men because he's gay...Chuck Norris has sex with men because he ran out of women

 

[A Star Ride]

Biker Found Shot, Dead After Collision With Deer - Pittsburgh News Story - WTAE Pittsburgh

Maybe the deer saw how injured the biker was and put him out of his misery.

Really? So this guy is cruising along one morning, decides to shoot himself in the back of the head, split second after he pulls the trigger out walks a deer & splat? what kinda luck?

 

[acecycleins]

That is the weirdest suicide by deer story I have ever read.

 

[Sir_Angus]

Maybe he was trying to commit suicide by deer and failed. Then figured he might as well shot himself instead.

Kinda like the guy in Texas that shot himself "accidentally" twice with a bolt-action rifle.

 

[A Star Ride]

About the only thing dummer then suicide is a failed attempt. I think he shot himself in the head, while riding then accidently hit the deer. He should've swerved.

 

[The_AirHawk]

Maybe he was trying to commit suicide by deer and failed. Then figured he might as well shot himself instead.

Kinda like the guy in Texas that shot himself "accidentally" twice with a bolt-action rifle.

"....cause of Death was a shotgun-blast to the base of the skull: LAPD has ruled it as a "Suicide"...."

 

[sarnali2]

"....cause of Death was a shotgun-blast to the base of the skull: LAPD has ruled it as a "Suicide"...."

Well yeah....I mean if you're going to check out then shooting yourself in the back of the head with a shotgun should do the trick.....

 

[Sir_Angus]

"....cause of Death was a shotgun-blast to the base of the skull: LAPD has ruled it as a "Suicide"...."

That wouldn't be an open casket ceremony.

 

[The_AirHawk]

That wouldn't be an open casket ceremony.

Well, not the TOP half of the casket, anyway.