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o i like this...

Dear Red States...

>

> We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and

> we're taking the other Blue States with us.

>

> In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington,

> Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We

> believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially

> to the people of the new country of New California.

>

> To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

> We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot

> Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

>

> We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

> We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

> We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

> We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You

> get Alabama.

> We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states

> pay their fair share.

>

> Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the

> Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a

> bunch of single moms.

>

> Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and

> anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at

> once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have

> kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no

> purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their

> children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and

> hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our

> resources in Bush's Quagmire.

>

> With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent

> of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple

> and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of

> America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)

> 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most

> of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and

> condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,

> Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

>

> With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88

> percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care

> costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the

> tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern

> Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,

> Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

>

> We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

>

> Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was

> actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred

> unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say

> that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved

> in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people

> with higher morals then we lefties.

>

> By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt

> weed they grow in Mexico.

>

> Peace out,

> Blue States

>
 

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This is America

The man should be able to own anything he wants is legal to own, as long as it doesn't infringe upon his work.

That means don't ride the Harley to the job, park it in front, in his office, on his desk, talk about it, etc....
 

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Re: o i like this...

Well you BS'rs (for blue staters) can't have these crazy buds that they sell at the dope co-op down on Santa Monica Blvd. (Bomb Purple Urkle BTW). Dirt weed indeed.

You sir can pry the bomb purple urkle, (or super indica) out of my cold dead and stinky hands.

Buy War Bonds.
 

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Re: Have I covered everything bad about Red State (banjo music playing)

Don't get me wrong, I've been listening to alternative music since its inception. I just wouldn't classify it as sophisticated, since it's the utter opposite of that. The only forms of music less sophisticated than alternative are polka and gangsta rap.
 

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Re: o i like this...

I'll be moving to a red state, then, since they'll have nearly all non-urban-sprawl land, no traffic jams, no air pollution, and nearly all the national parks, not to mention that the blue states will spend half the year frozen and the other half mired in road construction.

You might want to check your facts on mosquitos and obese americans, since 90% of both reside in Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Michigan. We'll enjoy missing out on 100% of wildfires and urban race riots (oh, excuse me, urban renewal).

I hope your citizens can live on wine, cheese, lettuce and fruit, since we'll have the vast majority of the beef, chicken, pork, bread, and corn.

I'm sure that Detroit, Boston, Philadelphia, Milwaukee, and New Jersey will provide the blue states with all the cultural prowess they'll need to impress the rest of the world at your state dinners.

You can keep Hollywood, with its *****-stained sidewalks, drug addicts, and pay-as-you-go bathrooms. You can also enjoy Yosemite, but you'll miss Yellowstone, Glacier, the Arches, the Grand Canyon, Dinosaur National Monument, Mount Rushmore, Devil's Tower, Barringer Crater, the Badlands, the Smokey Mountains, the good half of the Rocky Mountains, and all the ski resorts in Colorado.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in blue states believe John Kerry was actually a war hero, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing abortion or protecting the lives of American citizens against foreign terrorists, 44 percent say that capitalism is only a theory, and 100% of those crazy bastards think they are smarter than the rest of the world because they paid an "educational" institution $100,000 to give them a piece of paper saying so.

Besides, after they confiscate all the guns from the citizens of the blue states, the red states will just invade and take over the blue staters and make them all into slaves.

Peace out,

Red States
 

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UPDATE



I heard that there were some 'protesters' out there this Friday afternoon, with posters. I assume some Hog guys.



This will probably generate more publicity. They say any publicity is good, but dont' know about this one.

 

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"In other words, business owners that invest capital to create a money-making operation must be compelled to hire people they don't want to employ? " Never said that Abe... not nice to twist someone elses words... If the man does his job should you care what he has for breakfast? who he votes for? what he rides????
 
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