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That ain't nothing!

The clutch basket on my 929 blew up, causing a large chunk of metal to impact my groin with such force that my testicles were blown through my abdomen and knocked my kidneys out onto the street! My small intestine then unravelled through the holes in my side, became jammed in the rear wheel, causing it to lock up, and the resulting skid sent me off a cliff. I survived the hundred-foot fall by landing on my innards (they make quite a soft pillow), though I shattered both my legs and had to crawl back to civilization with my intestines dragging behind me. Thank God for modern surgical techniques! They never found my testicles, though.

Starving Student
 
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