Hooray! Come to a cheesy convention center/rodeo site in San Mateo for three medium-sized rooms full of the same crap you saw last year! Motoport will be there, with their full range of shoddily-made, overpriced pakistani and Red Chinese riding gear! Stand in line behind fat suburbanities to sit on the latest overpowered sportbike and be regaled by their expert analysis!
"Yeah, I couldn't have one of dem things, mah belly sticks out too much"
Clutch your shopping bag full of brochures your wife will throw away and mosey past the long line of identical booths selling cheap Harley stuff! Remember: no fringe=no good. This year, we plan on having over 60 chrome polish vendors! It's the largest selection of chrome polish in North America!
Oh, and don't forget the rabid excitement of the Cycle World (tm) Motorcycle show! Wow! A custom Harley! Wow! A Ducati with (can you believe it) CUSTOM PAINT and REAL CARBON FIBER!!! I didn't know they could do that!
Can you believe there's even more? But there is! If you wait in line long enough, you can ride a Buell (tm)at 20 MPH 15 minutes around the perimeter of the convention center! If you can't tell it's a great bike by then, well, shoot, I don't know what to tell you.
The door prize this year will be the Hanlon Brothers! That's right, the Hanlon brothers will go home with the lucky winner and perform odd jobs like cycle customizing, oil changes, or writing fraudulent business plans! Just don't ask them to balance your checkbook!
All this for a mere $9! And you get back a dollar from the AMA! Wow, I only need to be an AMA member for another 124 years, and my membership will pay for itself! And all I though the AMA did was fight helmet laws and make racing commercially unviable! Shows what I know!
No, I love those guys! I never see them riding on the backroads, or at racing events, but they come out of the woodwork for these shows, and that's why I like to go to these things. You really get a feel for who is driving the industry.
Oh, actually, that's pretty depressing. I'm going to go hang myself in the shower.