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Yep, it's no oil painting.

Ouch!

Actually, I have to admit that the 1995 does look better. They blacked out the exhaust cover, painted the frame to match the fairing, and updated the fairing a little. It's better, but still odd.

Definitely nowhere near the iconic design of the 916/996.

And if you own an R1, you don't have to apologize for its looks!
 

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Goody, goody: Ducati’s offering: Low, low, low financing rates for us, the struggling Proletariat. Haven't been in a dysfunctional relationship for, at least, six months. Hooking up with a crazy Italian just might be the ticket. Come to think of it, I think I'll remain a spectator.



"One, please...Balcony will be fine...By the way, what time do the beatings start?" Sorta gives ya goose-bumps, knowing how good the Romans were at Bloody Spectacles, don't it.



Personally, I'm a V-twin junkie (no need for intervention, I'm using the patch). And, just like everybody else in my support group, I have the occasional Ducati-wet-dream. Luckily, I wake up, look at my check-stub, stifle a sob, then call my sponsor. After all, Junkies are fantastic rationalizers, and I can come up with some doozies. 1: Owning a Ducati would be good for the local economy. Just think about all the money I’d be spending at the Chiropractor. And, I’ll definitely need to take Yoga classes. 2: Wouldn’t it be great to own a fine example of Italian design, and wouldn’t all my friends be jealous? 3: Chicks dig ‘em. 4: Chicks dig ‘em. 5: Chicks dig ‘em…STOP! Damn, you! I get the picture! If you find any of this annoying, please remember that you can leave, while I’m stuck here, with me.



In the end, short of winning the lottery, nothing, and nobody, could convince me that owning a Ducati is a good idea. I don’t care how low the financing gets, I’ve grown much to accustomed to eating, to stop, at this point in my life.



Like Play Boy Centerfolds, riding my own, personal Ducati will forever remain a vicarious thrill. I’ve learned to recognize High Maintenance, when I see it; and, next to a Ducati, dating a quadriplegic, crack-head, with Turrets seems like a good idea.







 

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I'll take my Ducati financing deal:



Me: invest $6K in 2000; let it grow to ~$9K



Other guy: Buy 748R, put gentle 6K miles on it and ~9K in upgrades bringing dyno'ed RWHP to 108; sell to me for $9k



 

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2005 is better

I think the standard 2005 999 in red is sweet. The painted frame, beefy R style swing arm, blacked out subframe and exhaust really change the looks from plain to "Nice!" Then drop in a 140bhp engine as standard and it almost seems worth it.

Almost... I'd rather have a clean 996 mono and an older Monster for that kind of money.
 

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Date or Ride, but Not Both

You should only date or ride high maintenance, but not both. All you married guys can have the Ducatis. Every time one of my neurotic, all black wearing, lithium/paxil/cocaine taking girlfriends dumps me for the bass player in a local band, there is my Honda VFR waiting patiently for me in my garage. A man needs some stability in his life, but not too much.
 

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The bike that dares not say its name

V-Strom.

Homelier than a mud box. Even the name...well...it came from the same studio that gave us the Madura.

(And why is it that the V-Strom, Multi, and Tiger share not just a case of the uglies, but functionally, they're all great bikes? There's something metaphysical here but that water's just too deep for me.)
 

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Whoopee...

The only one that would make any sense to me would be the following:

2005 and Prior Model Years

--- Rate --- Term - Down Pmnt - Max Advance

Tier I-III 2.9% 60 Months 0% 125%

All the others blow chunks and you may as well take out a home equity loan and write it off on your taxes. Anything over 4.9% in today's economy makes no sense...no sense at all. Go Ducati, go.
 

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Re: The bike that dares not say its name

"And why is it that the V-Strom, Multi, and Tiger share not just a case of the uglies, but functionally, they're all great bikes? There's something metaphysical here but that water's just too deep for me."

Bikes are like women - the better looking they are, the more useless they are. A beautiful woman and an MV Agusta F4 are expensive, high-maintenance, virtually unobtainable and only good for one thing - an exciting ride that will impress your friends but leave you with a backache.

Now, a V-Strom or a Multistrada - that's like a homely girl who wins you over because she learned long ago that she'd have to be interesting, funny, cook well and treat you right.
 

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Excellent. Now all they have to do is offer financing on the valve adjustment.
 

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I confess. I'm very tempted. I've owned two Ducatis. Both were reliable. As for riding them, well, the only thing with a better front end feel than a Ducati is Angelina Jolie. Yes, chicks dig 'em. They love looking at them and riding them. They love the exhaust sound. You love the exhaust sound. But beware. They are addictive. If a Ducati is like sex, all other motorcycles are just jerking off. Carry a drool towel if you buy one, as everyone will be slobbering all over it.



Vlad
 
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