Goody, goody: Ducatis offering: Low, low, low financing rates for us, the struggling Proletariat. Haven't been in a dysfunctional relationship for, at least, six months. Hooking up with a crazy Italian just might be the ticket. Come to think of it, I think I'll remain a spectator.
"One, please...Balcony will be fine...By the way, what time do the beatings start?" Sorta gives ya goose-bumps, knowing how good the Romans were at Bloody Spectacles, don't it.
Personally, I'm a V-twin junkie (no need for intervention, I'm using the patch). And, just like everybody else in my support group, I have the occasional Ducati-wet-dream. Luckily, I wake up, look at my check-stub, stifle a sob, then call my sponsor. After all, Junkies are fantastic rationalizers, and I can come up with some doozies. 1: Owning a Ducati would be good for the local economy. Just think about all the money Id be spending at the Chiropractor. And, Ill definitely need to take Yoga classes. 2: Wouldnt it be great to own a fine example of Italian design, and wouldnt all my friends be jealous? 3: Chicks dig em. 4: Chicks dig em. 5: Chicks dig em
STOP! Damn, you! I get the picture! If you find any of this annoying, please remember that you can leave, while Im stuck here, with me.
In the end, short of winning the lottery, nothing, and nobody, could convince me that owning a Ducati is a good idea. I dont care how low the financing gets, Ive grown much to accustomed to eating, to stop, at this point in my life.
Like Play Boy Centerfolds, riding my own, personal Ducati will forever remain a vicarious thrill. Ive learned to recognize High Maintenance, when I see it; and, next to a Ducati, dating a quadriplegic, crack-head, with Turrets seems like a good idea.
