Goody, goody: Ducatis offering: Low, low, low financing rates for us, the struggling Proletariat. Haven't been in a dysfunctional relationship for, at least, six months. Hooking up with a crazy Italian just might be the ticket. Come to think of it, I think I'll remain a spectator.
"One, please...Balcony will be fine...By the way, what time do the beatings start?" Sorta gives ya goose-bumps, knowing how good the Romans were at Bloody Spectacles, don't it.
Personally, I'm a V-twin junkie (no need for intervention, I'm using the patch). And, just like everybody else in my support group, I have the occasional Ducati-wet-dream. Luckily, I wake up, look at my check-stub, stifle a sob, then call my sponsor. After all, Junkies are fantastic rationalizers, and I can come up with some doozies. 1: Owning a Ducati would be good for the local economy. Just think about all the money Id be spending at the Chiropractor. And, Ill definitely need to take Yoga classes. 2: Wouldnt it be great to own a fine example of Italian design, and wouldnt all my friends be jealous? 3: Chicks dig em. 4: Chicks dig em. 5: Chicks dig em STOP! Damn, you! I get the picture! If you find any of this annoying, please remember that you can leave, while Im stuck here, with me.
In the end, short of winning the lottery, nothing, and nobody, could convince me that owning a Ducati is a good idea. I dont care how low the financing gets, Ive grown much to accustomed to eating, to stop, at this point in my life.
Like Play Boy Centerfolds, riding my own, personal Ducati will forever remain a vicarious thrill. Ive learned to recognize High Maintenance, when I see it; and, next to a Ducati, dating a quadriplegic, crack-head, with Turrets seems like a good idea.
I think the standard 2005 999 in red is sweet. The painted frame, beefy R style swing arm, blacked out subframe and exhaust really change the looks from plain to "Nice!" Then drop in a 140bhp engine as standard and it almost seems worth it.
Almost... I'd rather have a clean 996 mono and an older Monster for that kind of money.
You should only date or ride high maintenance, but not both. All you married guys can have the Ducatis. Every time one of my neurotic, all black wearing, lithium/paxil/cocaine taking girlfriends dumps me for the bass player in a local band, there is my Honda VFR waiting patiently for me in my garage. A man needs some stability in his life, but not too much.
Homelier than a mud box. Even the name...well...it came from the same studio that gave us the Madura.
(And why is it that the V-Strom, Multi, and Tiger share not just a case of the uglies, but functionally, they're all great bikes? There's something metaphysical here but that water's just too deep for me.)
"And why is it that the V-Strom, Multi, and Tiger share not just a case of the uglies, but functionally, they're all great bikes? There's something metaphysical here but that water's just too deep for me."
Bikes are like women - the better looking they are, the more useless they are. A beautiful woman and an MV Agusta F4 are expensive, high-maintenance, virtually unobtainable and only good for one thing - an exciting ride that will impress your friends but leave you with a backache.
Now, a V-Strom or a Multistrada - that's like a homely girl who wins you over because she learned long ago that she'd have to be interesting, funny, cook well and treat you right.
I confess. I'm very tempted. I've owned two Ducatis. Both were reliable. As for riding them, well, the only thing with a better front end feel than a Ducati is Angelina Jolie. Yes, chicks dig 'em. They love looking at them and riding them. They love the exhaust sound. You love the exhaust sound. But beware. They are addictive. If a Ducati is like sex, all other motorcycles are just jerking off. Carry a drool towel if you buy one, as everyone will be slobbering all over it.