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What's important here isn't the condition of the ass, or the asses that hit the ass, but what sort of motorcycle their asses were riding. We need to assign blame either to the drunken, overweight, perception impaired Harley asses OR to the race replica risk courting tank humper asses just to see how many people will get their panties in a bunch (between their ass cheeks)...



 

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Sounds like the perfect grist for the Highwayman's flamboyancy:



...before them stood a misfit of nature -- one genome less than a horse, one genome more than a donkey, wholly unable to replicate. Just as its genetic form defied nature, the mule's physical form defied the true pedigree of the machine and riders that bore down on it unerringly swiftly. The wind seemed to howl like a banshee, the engine thundered its undeniable POTATO-POTATO-POTATO! All of which reverberated through nature and came back as a scream in the riders ears, "Destroy this freak of nature, for it is a hideous amalgation!" Defying their own instincts for self-preservation, the riders bowed to the compulsion of maintaining genetic purity, and struck the beast, and left it lying in the road, braying for a swift death..."



And that's my half-assed tale. And everything turned out Okie-dokie.
 

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Maybe it WAS a Gold Wing.....

Hmmm. most Harley riders notice a little ass on the side of the road, as do the Sport Bike guys. BMW riders usually actually pay attention to the road and wear helmets (almost religiously. Assuming these folks were not since they had head injuries), so it must have been a Gold Winger (have noticed a bunch of them out west, lidless, while I was on my Harley with a lid)....right after that stop at the Cracker Barrell. Anyway, if they are MOrons, we'll hear from them shortly....

BigJames
 

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No way it was a Gold Wing.....

... the proximity alarm would have annunciated, simultaneously energizing delector shields; the auto-intuitive tractor beam w/intergrated transporter would have removed the hapless non-sentinent several parsecs away... to a safe class-M environment.. somewhere out there...
 

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Actually, I thought I would clarify this for all you "dumbasses." it is so blatantly obvious that they were operating a turbocharged, nitrous injected Kawasaki Mule that was moving at insane speeds.



In the mule's puffed-up, gas clouded mind that was operating in a speed-distorted haze, it did not realize that no matter how many mules it "jumped" and no matter how well "built" it was, the only results would be destruction and mayhem, not baby mules.



As we all know and have been warned, DO NOT BREATH nitrous, especially when it is forced down your nose by a turbocharger, as it is not funny to see smashed mules in the middle of the road.



As for the two riders, they should have put their heads together a little sooner, and at a lower velocity.......................
 
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