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Squid Hieroglyphics

Lookin' over the Asian atrocity cycles, how come they’re all covered with the junk characters of who knows what far eastern feudalism? Ninja-jackoff this, Haya-booboo that, all festooned with mock Oriental script and sacred dragons making ‘em look like they were painted by prehistoric Japanese cave-dwellers.

Now, if these atrocity cycles are going to be a lesson on wheels for talking Oriental, how come they can’t do it like a menu at a Chinese restaurant, where it’s all printed in English on the other side?

Though I reckon we’d find the only thing on the menu is squid.

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They call me . . . The Highwayman

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O' fer crissakes...

As I understand it, the Big Four were going to use an incomprehensible system of letters that related in no obvious way to the motorcycles themselves, but Harley apparently patented that nomenclature instead when they lost out on the potato-potato "sound". It seems the Big Four had to settle for using numbers (like in a Chinese restaurant) such as 954RR and GSXR1000. I'm told that HD would never use numbers 'cuz people would figure out how big and slow the power plants were.

They never call me...late for dinner.
 

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JB, I hear you man. After a stressful day -- or stressful week, a good ride (be it on a motorcycle or something hotter) can be truly satisfying and sets things right. High performance, machines or otherwise, is what we live for.
 

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Cojones, Cojones, Cojones.

Thanks, John!

I may never get to ride motorcycle with 200 hp and 372 lb. wet weight, but I've got an idea of just how ass-puckering somthing like that can be just by reading your article. So you never really got to whack open the throttles all the way? Damn. Some people might say your getting old, I'll say your getting wise. Obviously this motorcycle is not mastered in a day. It would probably take months of daily riding to "get comfortable" with it.

I do have one question. Is this the first motorcycle with electronics that analyzes all vehicle dynamics to decide engine management? If it is, the futures so bright I gotta wear shades! Someone will be able to build a 200 lb. single with 75 hp! Yeeaaah, that's what I'm talking about!

OK, Highwayman....say no to roadkill.
 

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Re: Squid Hieroglyphics

I can hardly wait to see what he says about German bikes. This stuff is too funny. Keep the comedy coming. The Highwayman, that is rich.

With milk coming of out my nose,

Dave
 

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Re: Squid Hieroglyphics

Highway just gets pissed when a GSX-R or a RR comes blowing past him. Just accept that the japanese build faster, better, more reliable bikes than Fat-Boy-Blob this or Sputster that.

They call me early for breakfast before a ride.

Ride hard.
 

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Re: Squid Hieroglyphics

Hung,

If you really think that Highway is a cruiser rider with penis envy, you are naive in the extreme. Even if I believed (and I don't) that he is sincere with his flame baits, it's still illogical to think that dynamic performance is what motivates the purchase of a cruiser.

P.S. What is wrong with penis envy? I envy Mike Tyson, though no doubt... he's a ****.

Ride Flaccid.
 

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Highwayman, as if! Cubicleman is more like it!

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They call me . . . The Highwayman

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I call you a . . . Sitting at your computer, not riding, posting troll.

The nerdycubicledwellingdon'thaveamotorbikeyetcauseyoucan'taffordoneandreallywantsaharleyman.
 

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Re: Squid Hieroglyphics

As far as I can tell, every bike manufacturer uses interesting descriptors, in keeping with their cultural identity.

I could go on with absurd examples from most countries of the world, but respect most of the rides of bikes regardless of what bike they choose..a pity others don't also have that respect for cultiral diversity.

These are about as many words as I want to type for this wanker, and the last I will bother with.
 

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Great article fun read. Let this be a lesson to us all. When faced with prose from the Highway man or flames from the Gray Pony-Tailed brotherhood, go ride the best from the land of the rising sun and leave them all behind. Got the Ninja back and I 'm good to go. :)
 
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