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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Apparently HD is recalling thousands of Sportsters. It turns out that if your pants touch the header pipe, they may burst into flames! (The pants, not the header pipes.) HD is going to add heat shields to the pipes. No word yet from the clothing manufacturers on recalling their clearly dangerous, flammable clothing. What a shame; blazing motorcyclists streaking down the Interstate look really cool at night.

HD should consider just issuing shorts to XL buyers. Once the hair burns off, the calf skin never catches fire, and you can get that neat motorcycle "tattoo" as a bonus.
 

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I've this friend, told me about this one time that he was merging-onto the Freeway late at night, he drops-in behind this semi-truck, and immediately noticed something "wasn't quite right": The trailer was blazing merrily-away.

Thinking fast, he started honking, waving, flashing his lights, etc. - everything he could do to get the Trucker's attention. He finally gets the guy to pull-over, Bill (my friend) pulls-alongside the cab where the guy started shouting "WTF do you WANT?" Bill calls back, warning the trucker "Hey man! You're on fire! You're ON FIRE!"

The guy looks in his mirror at the load, looks over at Bill, screams "doGdammit, I KNOW THAT!!!", jams it in gear and roars off down the highway, leaving Bill sitting there speechless..........
 

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To quote the Superfreak hisself, Rick James: "Cocaine is a heluva drug........"
 

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The Richard Pryor Commemorative Edition...

...man, thought I'd heard it all. Don't wear vinyl parachute pants when riding your sporty.

Pshhahahhhah
 

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That's just typical of the pansy ass's riding Harleys these days, how about keeping your pants off the pipes? That's like whinning about toasting your ass when you're sitting on your Ultra Classic with lowers doing some ****** 10 mile an hour "parade" in 90 degree weather. God, frikken man up for christ's sake.

When I had my chopped Shovelhead my right leg sat on top of the rear cylnder head at stop lights, I probably still have scars from it. One time the right fat bob started leaking and soaked my crotch with gas while I was haulin' down I-5, that's the only time I worried about bursting into flames. Apparently if you mount 10 year old 5 gallon fat bobs on a rigid frame, you'll want to stick some nice thick rubber washers in there......
 

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Reminds me of the time my squadron went to Rosie Roads PR for a misslex. Some of us bikers in the squadron rented Honda Passport mopeds one weekend, and after ingesting several kilos of purple mushrooms that grew all over the base, we ended up on some mud flats, next to the officers beach, chasing land crabs. This was great fun, sliding around, trying to catch the crabs that scurried all over the mud flats, and soon I had my moped up to terminal speed, and was just about to nail one of the blue crabs when it made a hard left, and sent me lowsiding through some bushes that lined the officers beach. Some zeros were having a kids birthday party, and were startled to see me crash through the bushes, laughing, as the moped went on top of me. My laughter turned to horror though, as the cork-type gas cap popped off, and spilled about a gallon of premix on my nads. The burning sensation was immediate, and in a state of panic, I threw the moped off me, pulled my swim trunks down around my ankles, and ran into the ocean, screaming OW! OW! OW! The mothers at the party covered their children's eyes, as I proceeded to splash cooling ocean water on my fornisqued nuts. The male members of the party were not amused, however, and proceeded to grab me, and throw me back through the bushes I just exited from, my swim suit still down around my ankles. That was hard to live down.
 

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We were at the Nato base in Napoli for a B&M Div get blasted and play football game one time. After the game we went to some little tav on the base and finished off the place, turns out they had Olympia beer there. We bought two sixxers each to go and just wandered around the base when we came across this Officer Garden Party thing, we sat out in the dark on this hillside and listened to the orchestra watching all this full dress brass and purty girls all in diamonds and stuff...It was kind of a trip, like the scene in Heartbreak Ridge where they're at the social. we sat up there and smoked some hash and drank our beers and just checked them out. If we were Bader-Mienhoff or Red Brigades we could have knocked off the entire Nato brass at one pop with a couple of RPG's and AK's.
 

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Pambopino?

We were in Brindizi Italy (remember that one?) and my shop boss was this 2nd class Philippino guy named Tony Luna. Tony was a gun nut, and everything he ate, drank, smoked and talked about, had to do with guns.

One time, we were way out in the north-east part of Brindisi, where the sand dunes are, at some NATO airbase's officer's club. The night before I had been to this place, and got a free meal after some drunk zero barfed all over my table (the place was packed, so the waiter asked if they could sit at my table, as I was with with three people). It was a real bytch to get to, had to take a 1 hour bus ride.

Anyway, that next night, they wouldn't let us in, as we had enlisted ID cards. How I got in the night before was a mystery (maybe it was because I had three fine American girls on my arm, but that's another story).

Tony got so pissed off (because of the long ride), he said to the Italian guy at the door: "If this was America, I would take my 9mm, put it here in my belt, then I would take my .45, put it here on the other side, then I would gey my M14, and strap it to my back, and put my .357 in my fanny pack, and then do you know what I would do? I would kill you and everybody in this town, and then burn it to the ground with gasoline!"

The Italian guy at the door just smiled, and said in broken English: "Thank You!" Didn't speak a word of English...hahhahha

Then there was the time I was at this railroad station...
 

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The Toad
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You bet...

We were at the Nato base in Napoli for a B&M Div get blasted and play football game one time. After the game we went to some little tav on the base and finished off the place, turns out they had Olympia beer there. We bought two sixxers each to go and just wandered around the base when we came across this Officer Garden Party thing, we sat out in the dark on this hillside and listened to the orchestra watching all this full dress brass and purty girls all in diamonds and stuff...It was kind of a trip, like the scene in Heartbreak Ridge where they're at the social. we sat up there and smoked some hash and drank our beers and just checked them out. If we were Bader-Mienhoff or Red Brigades we could have knocked off the entire Nato brass at one pop with a couple of RPG's and AK's.
... except the RPGs would probably ended up being lobbed towards Egypt and you'd have shot off your own feet with the AKs instead after all that beer and hash.

Makes you realize just how incompetent the military is. Fortunately for us the terrorist types are even more incompetent.

When I was in Nam a buddy and I on a day off took all our cameras and hitchhiked up Monkey Mountain. We met two guys in a truck who were guards at the TOP SECRET Hawk missile base that no one knew about. We told them that we were photographers for the Navy Times. They took us on base and got their guard dogs out and gave us an attack demo that we dutifully photographed. Then they took us around the base and showed us the TOP SECRET Hawk missiles. We told them to keep an eye on the Navy times and we beat feet out of there. I'll bet those two guys combed through every inch of the paper for years after that. Lucky for them we weren't with the Navy Times since they might not have fared so well if the Nav had found out that they would have let two real photographers for the Navy times on an actual TOP SECRET Hawk missile base. LOL!

Maybe we can understand better now why we lost that particular war. The NVA were just slightly less incompetent than the US Nav apparently.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
When I had my chopped Shovelhead my right leg sat on top of the rear cylnder head at stop lights, I probably still have scars from it. ......
Let's see, right at the moment, I have a nice red bullseye with a white center; that's the burn I got in the Keys three weekends ago when I was wearing shorts and got drunk at the Tiki bar. Right below that is my "chevron" scar from when the nice old lady ran me down and squashed my calf into the pipe, and there's one more below that, but I have no memory of how it got there.

How many shrooms did y'all eat out there Cuddy? Shoot, a small handful of our Florida cowpie specials will have you trippin for 48 hours! I've heard, I mean, some guy told me and stuff.
 

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... except the RPGs would probably ended up being lobbed towards Egypt and you'd have shot off your own feet with the AKs instead after all that beer and hash.

Makes you realize just how incompetent the military is. Fortunately for us the terrorist types are even more incompetent.

When I was in Nam a buddy and I on a day off took all our cameras and hitchhiked up Monkey Mountain. We met two guys in a truck who were guards at the TOP SECRET Hawk missile base that no one knew about. We told them that we were photographers for the Navy Times. They took us on base and got their guard dogs out and gave us an attack demo that we dutifully photographed. Then they took us around the base and showed us the TOP SECRET Hawk missiles. We told them to keep an eye on the Navy times and we beat feet out of there. I'll bet those two guys combed through every inch of the paper for years after that. Lucky for them we weren't with the Navy Times since they might not have fared so well if the Nav had found out that they would have let two real photographers for the Navy times on an actual TOP SECRET Hawk missile base. LOL!

Maybe we can understand better now why we lost that particular war. The NVA were just slightly less incompetent than the US Nav apparently.
Us ex-officer types really resent the fun you guys had.

What was your name and SN again? :)
 

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Way too many...

"How many shrooms did y'all eat out there Cuddy? Shoot, a small handful of our Florida cowpie specials will have you trippin for 48 hours! I've heard, I mean, some guy told me and stuff."

Since most of us on the Moped expedition were from the West Coast, we knew not the quantity to consume of the mighty psylocyben (sic) schroom, so we picked about a whole 20 gallon garbage bag full, and scoffed them ALL down with luke warm Budwisers.

I personally halucinated for about 4 days, everything seemed real funny, and my face hurt from smiling too much. Fueling A7's were a real bytch, as they seemed to want to eat you, and somethines talked, what with that big intake/mouth deal.

After a few days of that, we all piled in a rented Honda Car Wagon and drove to San Juan, where we got arrested for driving down a one way street the wrong way. The cops let us go, and we crashed the Civic at speed up into some weeds off the interstate in a town called Umagao, on the way back to the base. Somehow we got the badly bent and twisted Hondacar back to the rental place at the base, and turned it in without any one noticing the front window was popped out, and held in with Scotch tape. The rest of the car looked like a beer can that had been twisted by a giant pair of hands. The hands of Mescalito, perhaps?
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
mscuddy;171114 The hands of Mescalito said:
Good times, Spongebob, gooood times. If I had a slightly less obvious logon name I'd toss a few stories out myself. However, suffice it to say that when "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" came out, Dr. Thompson had nothing on me and the guys I ran with up in Cocoa Beach in the '70s.

Now, the most exciting thing I'll be doing this weekend is dropping the kid at his Mom's, and changing a rear tire on Mike's Road King so he can ride up to Biketoberfest in Daytona later this week. WooHOOO!

Anybody else going to Daytona this week? Biketoberfest is a lot more fun than Bike Week, IMO. Same fun, less traffic, shorter lines.
 

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Your lives all sound so exciting. Mine is so boring in comparison.
Well, you should have been in the military in the '70's defending the frontiers of freedom and keeping the world safe for democracy.

I had the misfortune of getting popped for paraphenalia on the boat right after a change of command, I can't remember the Captains name now, I think it was Service. We used to call him "the Snake" because he had a lisp and when he'd get on the 1mc and give anouncments you could hardly understand him.

Anyway, within a week of taking over the boat some guy got mushed by a huffer and another guy got his legs cut off by a Phantom, turns out most of the flight deck crew were stoners, then here comes me an Paully to Captains Mast for having hash pipes and he figures Engineering is all hop-heads too so we get reduced in rate,I lost my 3rd class crow, $750 fine and a month in the can as a guest of the USMC and a 15 minute lisping rant about what he was going to do to me if he ever heard my name again.......

Bad timing on my part I guess
 

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Stoners? On the flight deck?

Flight deck crew stoners, on the Indy? Nah, even though when I became a new brown shirt, after getting "greased" with molly b, someone dumped a couple hits of acid in my coffee. Made oiling and tieing down them F4's real "trippy" to say the least.

Then there was the time I stole that bus in Carni park. Got XO's mast, and they were all laughing so hard at my boot camp glasses (BCD's) all I got was a couple weeks restriction. "Restricted mens muster on the hanger deck..."
 

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I didn't know airdales greased, I thought it was an Engineering tradition. We always thought you guys just squeeked.

We had a guy named Fast Eddie who was one sick puppy. He started out in the Oil Shack but got transfered down to 4 main after awhile, well we couldn't sleep with him squeeking so much so after he was there for a few weeks and we figureded he was cool we ganged him and greased him up, and he was one of the crew. Now, each pit had a signiture, pplasm already gave away our Outlaw deal but we had one greasing too, we used Blue Dykem on certain areas as well as molly and coffee grounds.

As you know, Blue Dykem don't come off for awhile and we pulled into Catania the next day. Fast Eddie liked to hang with his Oil Shack buddies and that was cool with us, they had a tradition of finding VERY hi milage sportin' gals and taking pictures of each other munching on them, as I said, a bunch of sick puppies.

Well, me and Paully and Pineapple are wandering around the gut drinking $1.00 a gallon Scicillian home brew when out comes this old gal in her underthings screaming her head off in Italian followed by Fast Eddie wearing only a tee shirt and Converse All Stars and bright blue wedding tackle flopping stiff as a plank yelling "it's not gangrene! I'm in 4 main!!!" followed by his Oil Shack buddies trying to take pictures,.....

We just fell out I swear, I never laughed so hard in my life...
 
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