CEASE AND DESIST!
Acme Screw and Fastener
1414 Grand Lakes Drive
Wiscogie, MI 23435
Dear Mr. RSK,
It has come to our attention that you have used the word "screwed" in an online discussion forum. We at Acme Screw and Fastener, makers of high-quality fastening and screwing systems for over 80 years, believe you are infringing on our trademark of the word "screw".
Copyright infringement occurs when somebody, somewhere is gaining any kind of use or enjoyment without compensation to the trademark holder. Words may be trademarked as a promotional device for a corporation. The rule is especially violated when the word is used as part of a question. I occasionally enjoy being violated, but it is unacceptable for our trademarked words to feel that way.
In 1968, Acme Screw and Fasteners (henceforth, "screw-er") trademarked the term "screw" to protect its investment in advertising and promotional materials. The copyright covers all usage of "screw", including "screwing", "screwed-up", "screw-ball", "Uncle Screw"(used heavily in pornography before 1968) and "screw-a-thon". No use of the word may be undertaken without express written consent of the screw-er.
Here, you referred to a situation as being "screwed up" in an interrogatory statement. You did not receive written permission from Acme Screw and Fastener to use it. Therefore, you must remove the word from your post or submit a check for $4.78 cents.
We await your response.
Your most humble servant,
J. Hibble Penderbreth III
Acme Screw and Fastener Legal Department