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Help Getting Wife To Ride Again

5642 Views 15 Replies 15 Participants Last post by jibosch, Apr 6, 2004

32394

Discussion Starter · Mar 29, 2003

Anyone who is not comfortable riding for any reason whatsoever, shouldn't ride.

1 - 16 of 16 Posts

ColinL

· #2 · Mar 29, 2003

perhaps try a dirtbike, something small like a TT125 or an XR100, to get her more comfortable with skills and the basic notion of piloting a motorcycle.

although if you don't know any friends with one of those, I'm not sure it's a great idea to buy one to see if that works.

svrider813

· #3 · Mar 29, 2003

this may or may not be helpful but I was in a very serious accident 14 months ago, broken back, collarbone and wrist, bought a new bike in august and it has taken me 2000 white knuckled miles to get to where I feel comfortable again and my ability is starting to come back. My advice is your wife has to do it in her own time and only when she feels confident otherwise she is putting herself at risk. If she really wants to, the desire to ride again will come back. The decision to ride again was totally my own and it should also be your wife's.

32927

· #4 · Mar 29, 2003

Ask her if it's okay if your girlfriend rides her bike instead.

Seriously.

No seriously, if she doesn't want to ride... don't push her. Riding motorcycles has to be an individual's decision. How would you feel if she was injured and it was your decision to ride and not hers?

Besides, she will never enjoy it if you force her to do it.

I am married too and have discussed the issue with my wife as well. But I am torn. If she rode, I would probably get to ride more. Judging by how slowly she drives, I would probably pull my hair out THROUGH my helmet. On top of that, when I ride... that is MY time.

If you are really set on getting her to ride, consider buying a couple of off-road bikes and riding together that way.

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jibosch

· #5 · Mar 29, 2003

I sort-of had the same problem with a Girlfriend. Even bought her a Buell Blast, which was later sold. I solved it with a New Girlfriend, whom already rides... Your Solution will be much more dificult, but I agree with the Gentleman that says that if She really does not wish to ride, don't force Her. I don't even suggest it to friends anymore! I do not want a guilty conscience if They get hurt.

MattB

· #6 · Mar 30, 2003

I can understand your wifes fears. I can also understand your frustration. I had a friend that went thru something like your wife did, he was persuaded to start off on some back roads that aren't traveled to much. There were little spirts here and there and before long he was up and riding with the best of us on long hauls. It's worth a try, but don't preasure her. She has to be ready without being forced. Good luck!

Betamax

· #7 · Mar 30, 2003

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

Imagine a sport that you have no desire to do, perhaps scuba-diving or running marathons or playing badminton.

Are you imagining it? Now imagine what it would be like to have some well-meaning person constantly suggesting that you take up the sport, because "it'd be really fun if you just did it", even though you have no desire to ever do it.

Get the picture? So asking for 'help' to convince her to ride again is not helping her at all.

If you really love her, starting thinking about what she wants instead of what you want for a change.

21726

· #8 · Mar 30, 2003

If you can get the two of you plus camping gear on one bike, then do it. Two-up touring is a special treat, a special form of togetherness, and she'll love you for it. Forcing her to ride will turn her right off the whole business of motorcycling, and then you'll be camping on your own, which is not what you wanted. If she wants to ride, she will, and when she's ready.

3171

· #9 · Mar 30, 2003

If I were you, I'd leave her alone. She obviously wants to ride with you, but she doesn't want to do the riding herself, and I think that if you apply pressure (however gentle), you're just going to make it more difficult for her, isolate her. If I were you, I'd get a bike with more luggage capacity, or I'd get a side car rig.

It would be great if she would ride with you, but the bottom line is that it has to be just as enjoyable for her as for you, and if she would enjoy it more not riding, then you should acknowledge and accept that.

me, I'd rather ride with my loved one sitting right next to me than have her sitting on another bike, in sight, but far away.

sarnali

· #10 · Mar 30, 2003

The worst thing you could do would be to pressure her into something, if she's happy riding with you then that's what you do. Up until my wife was 7~8 mos. prego with our first daughter we rode everywhere, after our daughter was born she just lost interest in riding, anymore if she asks I take her, if not I just go by myself

grubz916

· #11 · Mar 30, 2003

Is one of her girlfriends looking to ride? When my wife was learning to ski, she had the most fun when she was learning with her friends, not trying to follow me and feeling that everyone is waiting for her to catch up.

I do stress here what othres already have. Do NOT push her along if she doesn't want to be. Forcing someone to "enjoy" a sport is a great way to further misery.

Thig

· #12 · Mar 30, 2003

Don't push it. I would love for my wife to ride, but is has to be her decision. If I pushed it and something happened I could never forgive myself.

Sam_Freed

· #13 · Mar 31, 2003

I vote with Haru

Option 1: Date a girl who (thinks she) rides and go bonkers because she goes too slow, does stupid/dangerous stuff and have to spend the whole ride babysitting her.

Option 2: Date a girl who wants to ride pillion and spend a beautiful day with her arms and legs wrapped around me, able to reach back and grab a squeeze whenever I please, sharing the intimacy of taking the curves together, and having the peace of mind that I will be the master of our mutual destiny.

Hmmmm, let me think . . .

BBD_Racing

· #14 · Apr 1, 2003

The bike itself matters. Although I dig the old CB360, it ain't confidence inspiring. The GS is not much of a great ride either. I'm not saying that she needs a supersport, but a bike that feels safe is helpful.

But that is for later. For now, she needs to get hapy with the whole idea. Let her be a passenger for a few thousand miles. Time will help. Zero pressure in the interim is important. Let her bring it up.

I also second the motion for a little dirt bike. It is hard to be afraid of an XR100. you can pick one up used for $1500 and then sell it for $1500 if it doesn't help. Of course, to make it fun, you need a dirt toy for yourself too......

shaneking

· #15 · Apr 4, 2003

Thanks for the replies. The thoughful comments did give me some greater perspective. The worst thing that happens is that I have a second bike of my own to ride!

Shane

jibosch

· #16 · Apr 6, 2004

This is My Second Post... And although I believe that Your Wife, REALLY does not wish to ride, and should perhaps not... now, I 'Strongly Suggest', to perspective Women riders, that they rent a Scooter, for a couple of days, and deal with the Traffic. If they make it through that 'Ordeal', usually they have no problem with a Motorcycle. If the Traffic is going to Spook them, it is a much quicker, and cheaper, way to find-out. Since I live on Miami Beach, usually We do this on South Beach - a very-usy Tourist area. Good Luck!

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