Well, you see, there's this Pirate named "Jack Brascoe". And he's like out Pirate'n an' shyte. An' he teams up with this Elf named Legoland or something. An' THEY go off Pirate'n an' shyte.
So they like steal this ship; I think it's named the Millenium Falcon or somethin'. An' then the Space Ninjas come, an' they like have this battle with swords an' cannons an' shyte. An' then the Toecutter is all like "You'll never take me Alive, Bronze!" An' then General Washington like crosses the Misis.... Misssii.... you know - that river that borders Mississippi - and he destroys Santa Annaclaus's Mongol Hordes (I think that's where the Elf comes in).
At the end, there's like a big dance party with those broads from Baywatch, an' everybody goes home Drunk and Happy.
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