Joined
·
7,113 Posts
I May Start Wearing a Helmet Again
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Make sure you have the bomber jacket and goggles to complete the look.
Joined
·
7,113 Posts
Not to mention the scarf to get caught in the rear wheel!
Joined
·
17,449 Posts
Better yet.
So long cell phone users!
I want the optically sighted mini-gun that goes with it. Just look at something and press the trigger = 3,000 rounds per minute 7.62 NATO.
So long cell phone users!
Joined
·
5,447 Posts
Perfect for fake Vietnam Vets...
I want one to wear around the house in my wheelchair. so I can start telling BS stories to my daughters friends about Vietnam...
"We were a few clicks from this RVN village, when my pric90 man pointed to a hooch off in the scrub that looked like Charlie might be sqating in.
So I lobed a few willie peters in from my blooper, ans smoked the whole compound. Then this dying dink gets off a round from his SKS and takes me down for a ride on the Freedom Bird di di mau after I recovered in Cam Ray Bay.
I still have the 7.62 round stuck up close to my spinal cord, too dangerous to remove they said. now get me another beer"
I want one to wear around the house in my wheelchair. so I can start telling BS stories to my daughters friends about Vietnam...
"We were a few clicks from this RVN village, when my pric90 man pointed to a hooch off in the scrub that looked like Charlie might be sqating in.
So I lobed a few willie peters in from my blooper, ans smoked the whole compound. Then this dying dink gets off a round from his SKS and takes me down for a ride on the Freedom Bird di di mau after I recovered in Cam Ray Bay.
I still have the 7.62 round stuck up close to my spinal cord, too dangerous to remove they said. now get me another beer"
Joined
·
8,715 Posts
Make sure you wear lots of fruit salad on Veterans Day and make indirect reference to Seals and MACSOG....get really drunk and mumble about your Bros at The Wall then start screaming and cussing at them and watch them run like their butts were on fire...
Make sure they leave the beer
Joined
·
7,113 Posts
You left off pissing all over somebody's name and screaming: "Piss on you for dying, you beautiful bastard!" It's always a crowd pleaser.
Joined
·
17,449 Posts
Just turn on the microwave...
and sarnali p1sses every time. Although he usually just screams "F&uck" over and over. It makes a nice counterpoint to the popcorn popping.
Joined
·
5,447 Posts
Bro, I'm a disabled vet.
Classic. You know, this might be a new gig for me. Grow my hair all long and scraggly, an un-trimmed beard, you know, classic disabled vet. Start wearing my uncle's old BDU's from the early 60's. Lots of fruit salad. Hang out in front of Ralph's Supermarket, and try to get people to sign obscure petitions. Get arrested for disobedience. Maybe even hook up some American Flags to the chair! Hell, this could make $$$. TV Shows, stage plays, action figures. BROADWAY
Joined
·
7,113 Posts
Fun With Death
If you're Jewish, make sure your last words are: Saint Peter! I can see Saint Peter and the Pearly Gates!!
If you're Christian (and who isn't, these days)call out: Mohammed! Allah Akabar! Mohammed!
If you're Muslim, well, you probably don't find much humor with death and all that anyway, so never mind.
If you're in a bad motorcycle wreck, or otherwise just about to die, try these tips when the family gathers around your deathbed:
If you're Jewish, make sure your last words are: Saint Peter! I can see Saint Peter and the Pearly Gates!!
If you're Christian (and who isn't, these days)call out: Mohammed! Allah Akabar! Mohammed!
If you're Muslim, well, you probably don't find much humor with death and all that anyway, so never mind.
Joined
·
8,715 Posts
Oh yeah, you're there bro! find some sh1tty old Jungle Boots and a big f*cking pig sticker from the Spanish American war at the local surplus store. Start waving it around screaming "Dinks in the Wire" when you see Asian people walk by..
You'll make CNN dog, no sh1t !
Joined
·
17,449 Posts
You are closer to the truth...
...than you think. Most of the "soldiers" who told stories of Vietnam War atrocities for John Kerry back in the 70's never served in the military either. I'm sure you could get a gig with Cindy Sheehan telling phony Iraq atrocities like Jesse Adam Macbeth. As long as you tell those idiots what they want to hear they'll eat it right up.
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
