News Item:
Oxford (Reuterz): The Royal Academy of English and Diction, the English language'z oldest institution of academic research, declared today that the final "s" in most English wordz will now be replaced with "z".
"After exhaustive research and heated, lively debate, we here at the Academy have determined that for the sake of preservation of the Queen'z English, we must get down wif' our homies and represent dis schiznitz to the extreme"
The statement went on for several pagez, becoming increasingly bizzare and unreadable.
Expertz in the English language worldwide have expressed great dismay, as the Academy has long been followed as a template for proper English spelling, diction, and grammer.
Most English news organizationz, textbook publisherz, speechwriterz and other users of written English are expected to follow suit. Reuterz staff spent 14 hourz updating newz archivez and style guidez.
"It'z a disaster." stated Lorraine Alsberry, of George Washington University'z Department of English and Wafflez. "Suddenly, all our rules of syntax and grammer are wrong. And what the hell iz that "z" doing replacing the final "s" anyway? Why does the entire English speaking world have to follow the lead of some anonymouz dyslexic teenager, anyway?"
The Bush administration had no comment on the declaration specifically, but did announce that $14 million will be allocated in the nect fiscal year to modify monuments and plaques owned by the Federal Government, with $4 million being spent on the Vietnam War memorial alone.