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The Toad
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Slogging through this crap so you don't have to.

This week's motorcycle movie "treat" is 60's schlock "The Mini-Skirt Mob". Motorcycle movies are never story heavy and the MSM is no exception. The plot is simply this: Cowboy Superstar Jeff Logan (we know this because it says so on his 15 ft trailer) marries Connie The Whiner. Ex-girlfriend Shayne (Jeff's not Connie's, this isn't that kind of movie) is pissed and gets her doormat boyfriend Lon and the rest of her "mob" to harass and terrify the couple. That's it.

The cast includes people who actually had careers in the movies that extended years beyond this turkey. Jeremy Slate (Lon), Ross Hagen (Jeff), Patty McCormack (Shayne's Sizzling Sister Edie who also sings the title song), Sherry Jackson and Harry Dean Stanton!! There are 3 other mob members who don't have much to do.

The movie is far more entertaining than was intended. Yep, this movie sports a biker gang of roaring Honda CB&CL160s! It also gives interesting lessons like-

1-Why you don't ride between a trailer and the cliff on a mountain road while harassing the driver and his wife.
2-Riding a motorcycle at about 25mph about 2 feet away from someone will cause them to fly into air to the side.
3-You can make Molotov ****tails with the gas in your bike's tank and empty beer bottles.
4-Griffith Park is in Arizona.
5-People turn into mannequins when they fall off of cliffs.
6-A Winchester 30-06 bolt action rifle can shoot 25 rounds without reloading.
7- If you hit someone who is traveling at 20 mph on a bike with a stick he will fall off, but as he falls he will take his shirt and jacket off and put them back on backwards.

This movie is strictly PG. But would make an excellent MST3K subject.

Ross Hagen IS Jeff Logan, Champion Rodeo Star!


This is how we know he's Champion!


Jeremy Slate IS Lon, Shayne's poosywhipped doormat and the 2nd best Rodeo Star. If he kills Ross he'll be the best! This has to be explained to him.


Sherry Jackson IS Connie the Whiner. Seriously you have never seen anyone complain so much. "Why don't you do something?" "Because they have a rifle and I don't you stupid bytch!"


Diane McBain IS Shayne The Jilted Girlfriend. This lady has serious jealousy issues.


Harry Dean Stanton IS Spook, the Stupid Hick. His performance makes Jimm Carrey look like a genius.


Patty McCormack IS Edie, the Sizzling Sister.


Hot 160s!!!


These guys know how to partay!! Turn up that Dean Martin song will ya?


Disposable Lackey TJ... I don't think that is a good idea, TJ!


Told ya so, TJ!


Edie Sizzles!


Lon puts his shirt on backwards.
 

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It's like you threw yourself on a Grenade to save your Troops; only to discover it was just one of those ladyfinger-firecrackers, inside a cheap, Chinese-made plastic POS that's only made to LOOK like a Grenade.........

(but DAMN those ladyfinger's are loud sumbiotches, eh?)
 

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LMFAO "........puts his shirt on backwards" You cant tell he had a badly broken neck? No sympathy from you huh?
Anyone that's ever had a hat with a chinstrap knows, that right about 17.26mph, the chinstrap starts to choke you as the hat comes off the top of your head and moves the the back of your neck. Close observers will note that what's REALLY holding the hat on the actor's pointed head, is the staples some Grip put in so the wouldn't have to keep re-filming his "action death-scene"...........
 

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It's like you threw yourself on a Grenade to save your Troops; only to discover it was just one of those ladyfinger-firecrackers, inside a cheap, Chinese-made plastic POS that's only made to LOOK like a Grenade.........

(but DAMN those ladyfinger's are loud sumbiotches, eh?)
It's the leap that counts. What happens after that doesn't really matter.
 

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Aging Cafe` Racer
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How does it compare with Hells Angels on Wheels, the seminal biker flick of all time?
 

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The Toad
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
How does it compare with Hells Angels on Wheels, the seminal biker flick of all time?
Hells Angels on wheels kind of sucks actually. Slow and boring. If "Stone Cold" (the greatest biker movie of all time) rates a 10 then HAoW is about a 6 and MSM is about a 4.
 

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Aging Cafe` Racer
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But but Jack Nickolsen is in it!!! How can it suck?.... Why that's like saying The Born Losers wasn't the greatest film of all time or something! you're stepping on hallowed ground there my friend.......
 

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The Toad
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Discussion Starter · #14 · (Edited)
But but Jack Nickolsen is in it!!! How can it suck?.... Why that's like saying The Born Losers wasn't the greatest film of all time or something! you're stepping on hallowed ground there my friend.......
Yeah, well The Wild One isn't all that wild either. Trying to make biker movies into "Important Social Commentary" is about as far from the purpose of such things as one can get. Biker movies featuring Flying Flaming Harleys will always beat those trying to make "A Statement".

Hells Angels on Wheels could have been greatly improved with the addition of a stampede of monkeys, but then a stampede of monkeys would improve ANY movie.

However The born Losers is endlessly entertaining. I give it 9 1/2 stars.
 
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