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· The Toad
17,449 Posts
These are mostly okay, but that one about the glass eye... some sort of punishment is indicated for that one. How about locking SV up in a cubicle with Sean for a couple of hours after one of Sean's notorious burrito lunches?

5,447 Posts
What's the difference between a Hoover vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the "dirt bag".

Badda boom.

· Registered
1,125 Posts
So the farmer from Texas is visiting his friend in Ohio. "Boy, how big's this farm ya got here?"

"Ya see that tree up there? says the Ohioan. That's the northeast corner and if you follow the ridge along that-a-way you're at the north west corner. Ya come back down to the barn and that's about the size of it."

"So how big is all yer alls farm in Texas", says the Ohioan.

"Boy, let me tell ya, if I rode my scooter all day long I wouldn't but just reach the edge of my farm".

The Ohioan nods and says, "ya, I had a motorcycle like that once too."

· Registered
6 Posts
Sorry about this...

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.

Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse.

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented:

Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his

hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life. The moral of the story? (Yes, there's a moral!)

When You're Hung Like A Horse

You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks !!

· Registered
144 Posts
There was a biker, rich man, and priest out hunting in the wastelands of Africa. They get captured by a tribe of natives and are brought to the council chief. The Chief tells the trio that they were caught trespassing on a sacred burial ground and must be punished. The punishments are BUNGA Bunga or death.

The priest is offered his punishment first. He thinks for a moment and comes to the conclusion that nothing could be worse than death so he chooses BUNGA BUNGA. The thousand natives all start yelling BUNGA BUNGA , and run up and screw him in the tail.

The rich man is second to choose. He doesn't want to get screwed but figures he has a wonderful wife, kids, and life that he doesn't want to throw away by death. Plus no one has to know so he chooses BUNGA BUNGA. The natives chant BUNGA BUNGA, run up, and screw him in the tail.

The biker is last and is sickened as to what has happened. No way is he choosing the same fate as his friends. He defiantly shouts, I choose death!! The chief, with a smile says, Death by BUNGA BUNGA!!
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