New Dirt on Suzuki

News Item

AMA to Create New Flat Track Series

Milwaukee (UPI) January 13-AMA officials, speaking from their new offices in the Harley Davidson corporate offices announced a new race series open to a "broad range" of motorcycles.

"This new class will create an open playing field. Only the best and most innovative manufacturers will be able to compete in this one" said Kent Brentmenthent, new VP of AMAproracingandgolfing.

When pressed for detail about the class, Mr. Brnetmenthent referred reporters to a press release.

The press release allows "any motorcycle" into the class, as long as it is "700 pounds wet, makes less than 65 HP stock, is 23% chrome, and was manufactured in the actual Harley Davidson factory."

Additionaly, riders must wear only specially licensed Harley Davidson MotorClothes (tm) for "safety concerns."

When a reporter from the Chicago Sun-Times asked what sorts of "safety concerns" require wearing crotchless pants and a leather handkerchief about one's head, she was dragged from the press room by two large and malodorous men.

After the reporters anguished screams could be heard through an open alley door, the tone of questions from the press became much less antagonistic.

Although no dates or details about the race series were given by the AMA, there is no doubt in the collective mind of UPI that this will be the most exciting and watched racing in the history of mankind.