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SV Owners Collectively Awarded Sanctimonious Prick Award
Las Vegas (Reuters) In a quiet ceremony at the Sands Casino today, representatives of the collective body of SV650 motorcycle owners were awarded the 2002 Sanctimonious Prick award by the National Academy of Sanctimonious Pricks.
"As a large body of smug, self-rightous a$$holes, SV owners have succeded in annoying and irritating the larger community of motorcyclists by constantly chirping on about how great their bikes are, even when the topic of conversation has nothing to do with middleweight twin-cylinder motorcycles, or anything to do at all with motorcycles." said noted media critic George F. Will, master of ceremonies for the 3-hour long NASP awards ceremony. "By doing so, they preserve and carry on a grand tradition of sanctimonious pricks everywhere."
Seattle SV owner Alen Heng accepted the award on behalf of owners of the mildly acclaimed budget motorcycle. "I appreciate the honor bestowed on us by the Academy, and we will strive to be evermore sanctimonious, smug, and annoying."
Last year's, recipient, rock star Bono, wished the new awardees well in a press conference from his world headquarters in Nairobi. "Although their acheivments pale next to mine, I suppose the constant mentioning of their vehicle's postitive attributes will bring a high standard to the feild of sanctimonious prickery. Did you know I'm going to solve hunger as well as AIDS?"
Las Vegas (Reuters) In a quiet ceremony at the Sands Casino today, representatives of the collective body of SV650 motorcycle owners were awarded the 2002 Sanctimonious Prick award by the National Academy of Sanctimonious Pricks.
"As a large body of smug, self-rightous a$$holes, SV owners have succeded in annoying and irritating the larger community of motorcyclists by constantly chirping on about how great their bikes are, even when the topic of conversation has nothing to do with middleweight twin-cylinder motorcycles, or anything to do at all with motorcycles." said noted media critic George F. Will, master of ceremonies for the 3-hour long NASP awards ceremony. "By doing so, they preserve and carry on a grand tradition of sanctimonious pricks everywhere."
Seattle SV owner Alen Heng accepted the award on behalf of owners of the mildly acclaimed budget motorcycle. "I appreciate the honor bestowed on us by the Academy, and we will strive to be evermore sanctimonious, smug, and annoying."
Last year's, recipient, rock star Bono, wished the new awardees well in a press conference from his world headquarters in Nairobi. "Although their acheivments pale next to mine, I suppose the constant mentioning of their vehicle's postitive attributes will bring a high standard to the feild of sanctimonious prickery. Did you know I'm going to solve hunger as well as AIDS?"
Re: SV Owners Collectively Awarded Sanctimonious Prick Award
In other news, a spokesman for Arrogant Riders on Sport bikes (ARS) announced that the group after much discussion and a nationwide member vote has decided to accept the offer to join the Condecending Ar$eholes of America Group (CAAG).
In a statement released earlier, the President of ARS, Squid Lee said. "We still stand by our club charter; "If it doesn't 160 mph, then it 'ain't a motorbike." but when it came down to it, ARS and CAAG had one overriding belief that bound our groups." When pressed about the common tie he continued. "Both our groups believe that God gave us noses so that we could look down them."
A new name for this association is still pending although there is strong speculation that it may eventually become known as "The Republican party."
In other news, a spokesman for Arrogant Riders on Sport bikes (ARS) announced that the group after much discussion and a nationwide member vote has decided to accept the offer to join the Condecending Ar$eholes of America Group (CAAG).
In a statement released earlier, the President of ARS, Squid Lee said. "We still stand by our club charter; "If it doesn't 160 mph, then it 'ain't a motorbike." but when it came down to it, ARS and CAAG had one overriding belief that bound our groups." When pressed about the common tie he continued. "Both our groups believe that God gave us noses so that we could look down them."
A new name for this association is still pending although there is strong speculation that it may eventually become known as "The Republican party."
Re: SV Owners Collectively Awarded Sanctimonious Prick Award
Sanctimonious Prick Award Generates Controversy
Red "Knucklehead" McCoombs responded in a belch-punctuated 3 A.M. phone call to the SV Owners most recent award, which comes fast on the heels of their having been awarded the dreaded "Chicks think it's CUTE!" award last June. A partial transcript follows.
"I ain't sure what y'all are braggin' on - I mean, you could put that whole motor into one of mah Hog's cylinders. An' their ain't nowhere to put tassels or conchos or leather saddlebags on that SV thing... or a sissy bar. My hog's got real loud exhaust - and it's made in the YOU-ESS-AY! An' it's got better resale value, an' loud pipes, an' it shakes real hard at idle, an' Sonny Barger has one, an' loud pipes save lives. Plus, it's manly as *****. And loud. I park mine on a lace doily in the foyer off of the dining room, next to the Sharper Image solar-powered humidor/wine cellar/atomic clock combination I got from the firm for my 20th anniversary. The chrome compliments my collection of authentic Tribal Carvings. Did I mention how loud it is?
Sanctimonious Prick Award Generates Controversy
Red "Knucklehead" McCoombs responded in a belch-punctuated 3 A.M. phone call to the SV Owners most recent award, which comes fast on the heels of their having been awarded the dreaded "Chicks think it's CUTE!" award last June. A partial transcript follows.
"I ain't sure what y'all are braggin' on - I mean, you could put that whole motor into one of mah Hog's cylinders. An' their ain't nowhere to put tassels or conchos or leather saddlebags on that SV thing... or a sissy bar. My hog's got real loud exhaust - and it's made in the YOU-ESS-AY! An' it's got better resale value, an' loud pipes, an' it shakes real hard at idle, an' Sonny Barger has one, an' loud pipes save lives. Plus, it's manly as *****. And loud. I park mine on a lace doily in the foyer off of the dining room, next to the Sharper Image solar-powered humidor/wine cellar/atomic clock combination I got from the firm for my 20th anniversary. The chrome compliments my collection of authentic Tribal Carvings. Did I mention how loud it is?
Working for MO must be nice.
So, lemme get this straight. On a day-to-day basis, you're graced with the presence of Mr. John Burns (and undoubtedly get to spit shine his boots), you get to go to all sorts of track days and ride all sorts of great bikes, too. But, forget about that. You get all manner of performance upgrades for your own bike, probably for free, and get to take them all with a clear conscience under the pretense of 'journalism.'
Jealous? You bet I am.
So, lemme get this straight. On a day-to-day basis, you're graced with the presence of Mr. John Burns (and undoubtedly get to spit shine his boots), you get to go to all sorts of track days and ride all sorts of great bikes, too. But, forget about that. You get all manner of performance upgrades for your own bike, probably for free, and get to take them all with a clear conscience under the pretense of 'journalism.'
Jealous? You bet I am.
Re: SV Owners Collectively Awarded Sanctimonious Prick Award
Before I bought a sv i was warned by (ARS) members that I would be getting blown away by real sportbikes. But after a year of riding all the time. I realized that hardcore sportbikes see little use! The riders usually out on the road are harleys; and standered style motorcycles!
Before I bought a sv i was warned by (ARS) members that I would be getting blown away by real sportbikes. But after a year of riding all the time. I realized that hardcore sportbikes see little use! The riders usually out on the road are harleys; and standered style motorcycles!
Re: In fact...
Lucky? Maybe, if you believe in that sort of thing. I would say fortunate would be a better word. As in, I've been very fortunate to have the opportunity to work here at MO this summer.
Spoiled and/or bastard? No. I try not to take anything for granted or been spoiled, and though I can be ornery at times, I'm not a bastard.
Lucky? Maybe, if you believe in that sort of thing. I would say fortunate would be a better word. As in, I've been very fortunate to have the opportunity to work here at MO this summer.
Spoiled and/or bastard? No. I try not to take anything for granted or been spoiled, and though I can be ornery at times, I'm not a bastard.
Joined
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1,538 Posts
Story = Good, This Thread = GREAT!
This is a seriously funny thread. Keep it up.
Now I'm going to go spank my monkey, um... choke my chick... er... blow some sportbikers... ah hell... I'm going to go out and ride REALLY REALLY fast.
This is a seriously funny thread. Keep it up.
Now I'm going to go spank my monkey, um... choke my chick... er... blow some sportbikers... ah hell... I'm going to go out and ride REALLY REALLY fast.
Joined
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63 Posts
Re: Brake Pad rating
Let me see if I've got this straight...
You're 100 mile short of bedding the pads in butt you rate `em with four starts?
Shat! Wonder what you'll think of `em when they're fully bedded.
Will you be adding more stars to the rating system or what?
Let me see if I've got this straight...
You're 100 mile short of bedding the pads in butt you rate `em with four starts?
Shat! Wonder what you'll think of `em when they're fully bedded.
Will you be adding more stars to the rating system or what?
You're right
You're right. I was just lashing out from jealousy. I should have taken a time out before posting. I should have thought about your feelings.
Now look: I'm shoulding all over myself.
Elliot, you're good enough, and smart enough and all that. And doggone it, despite the fact that you have a better job than I do, I like you.
Forgive me? Still buds? Who loves ya, babe?
You're right. I was just lashing out from jealousy. I should have taken a time out before posting. I should have thought about your feelings.
Now look: I'm shoulding all over myself.
Elliot, you're good enough, and smart enough and all that. And doggone it, despite the fact that you have a better job than I do, I like you.
Forgive me? Still buds? Who loves ya, babe?
Joined
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3,415 Posts
Re: SV Owners Collectively Awarded Sanctimonious Prick Award
Well, right you are, and another opportunity for me to tell you all how wonderfull my '01 Bandit S is,, smooth, fast, reliable an cheap, er,, value priced I mean, anyway did I mention my Holeshot slip-on? no? well it's the black 17'' street can, adds 13 hp, saves 8lbs and howls like a ***** in heat, anyway all you sanctimonious twits will recognize the taillight and my portly butt 'cause thats all you've seen.
Well, right you are, and another opportunity for me to tell you all how wonderfull my '01 Bandit S is,, smooth, fast, reliable an cheap, er,, value priced I mean, anyway did I mention my Holeshot slip-on? no? well it's the black 17'' street can, adds 13 hp, saves 8lbs and howls like a ***** in heat, anyway all you sanctimonious twits will recognize the taillight and my portly butt 'cause thats all you've seen.
Joined
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26 Posts
Nice...
to see a good how-to. I like the comments about cleaning the pistons and resurfacing the rotors. Cleaning with acetone is something I was never told. An SV with good brakes is a beautiful thing. It changed mine quite nicely!
How about an article on adjusting shim under bucket valves?
to see a good how-to. I like the comments about cleaning the pistons and resurfacing the rotors. Cleaning with acetone is something I was never told. An SV with good brakes is a beautiful thing. It changed mine quite nicely!
How about an article on adjusting shim under bucket valves?
Joined
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242 Posts
I got mine.
Not sure what your point is. Heh heh, got my SVS in the garage. Can I tell you what a fantastic motorcycle it is?
Not sure what your point is. Heh heh, got my SVS in the garage. Can I tell you what a fantastic motorcycle it is?
Joined
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7 Posts
Re: SV Owners Collectively Awarded Sanctimonious Prick Award
Y'know, I don't necessarily buy into this smoothness argument for 4-cylinder bikes. If I wanted a frickin' sewing machine, I'd buy a frickin' sewing machine (and put aftermarket pipes on it. I hear the new Singer SCREAMS with the Two Bros' full system and a jet kit.)
But I digress. Anyway, I rode a friend's FZ1 last weekend. Nice bike, but the vibes I did feel I didn't like. All buzz-y. Like an epileptic hamster was holed up in the airbox shooting ephedrine and drinking red bull.
The best part about switching bikes? Getting to see what my SV looks and sounds like from the back...
Have I mentioned how much I love the SV?
Y'know, I don't necessarily buy into this smoothness argument for 4-cylinder bikes. If I wanted a frickin' sewing machine, I'd buy a frickin' sewing machine (and put aftermarket pipes on it. I hear the new Singer SCREAMS with the Two Bros' full system and a jet kit.)
But I digress. Anyway, I rode a friend's FZ1 last weekend. Nice bike, but the vibes I did feel I didn't like. All buzz-y. Like an epileptic hamster was holed up in the airbox shooting ephedrine and drinking red bull.
The best part about switching bikes? Getting to see what my SV looks and sounds like from the back...
Have I mentioned how much I love the SV?
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