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· Registered
84 Posts
Interesting and good for a laugh. A bit brand specific, and ignoring where the parts are sourced. What about other American built bikes, including the Goldwing I believe?

Try inserting "horse" instead of "Harley"..

· Registered
446 Posts
Hey, Kids, What time is it?

Well, let's see.

"A life membership in the brotherhood of righteousness is part of the

authentic Harley-Davidson experience. A life sentence among the damned is reserved for the


Interesting. Having owned two Harleys, and now something else, I wonder, do I have two lifetime memberships? can I get a friend in free, like with college-ID movie discounts? Or does my new bike (and its attendant damnation) cancel one of my life memberships? Over the Memorial Day weekend, whilst riding three states away to find good twisties, I cleaned out my wallet one evening and discovered that my H.O.G. dealership discount is not dependant on bike ownership, but merely on dues-payment. So I can ride my BMW up to the Harley dealership, and still get 10% off parts, accesories, and best of all, genuine MotorClothes (tm).

Kick A$$!

And speaking of atrociteurs....I am beginning to feel offended by This Man o' The Highway, this Will o' The Wisp, this vague turner of veiled, diplomatic phrase, this beater around the bush who never, somehow, manages to say what it is that he means. Offended? you ask. And The Head says, "Yes, offended."

He never mentions the atrociteurs from the Western hemishpere. I work hard, slaving away behind the bars of a Kraut-hammer, what sounds like a two-stage air compressor (sorry, Kompressor) all so that I can destroy the spirit of true American Motorcycling. And what is the thanks that I get? I get ignored.

My fellow atroociteauieoumouseers, Rise up!

Think of your favorite bikes. Who makes 'em?

Excepting Harley, the vast majority of all bike production in the modern world is done by the Japanese (Big 4), the Germans (I found BMW have internal memos that refer to themselves as 'Die Waffen Moto'), and the Italians (Aprilia, Duc, the Goose).

What this means is that the Axis powers make the bikes that go fastest, last longest, and have most of the sex appeal.

The Yankee makes are content to look good without actually fighting the war (well, except in Roger Corman movies where they use chains to beat people because they've run out of squibs.) In other words, Harley is isolationist. They give no thought to their allies. Do you really think that Hinkley fire was an accident? Do you?! Bah.

I will fight with my honorable brothers no more, forever. They can have moto-hegemony over the East. To Biaggio goes Africa and the Italian peninsula (so long as he understands we will continue to sweep Paris-Dakar, by fiat), and BMW, they get Western Europe. We choose not to invade the land of Ural, knowing from history that the sidehack R32s will retreat into the interior, spewing burning oil behind them. Uncreative whores. But I digress.

Soon, soon, this Highwayman, this wouldbe Roosevelt rolling about on his crippled moto-chair will know, and the knowing will be the end of him, that atrociteurs can come from more places than one, small far-away island. Soon, he will perish in the face of his own Great Depression. Already we see the softness in the used-Hog market.

And there will be no ewoks to save him this time.

The Aerodynamic Head has spoken. So let it be written; so let it be done.

· The Toad
17,449 Posts
....or striking a daring posse deep into the uncharted badlands

I wasn't aware that there were any uncharted badlands that had paved roads on them. Is the Trailerman saying that he takes his hog on dirt wilderness trails?

Harley men place their trust and confidence in other men of robust character and proven substance

If he's talking about the Harley outlaws then I believe the correct word would be "illegal substance".

Stout and hearty men who sit proud and righteous in the saddle.

And you'd be stuck in the saddle too if you had that big a beer belly.

Atrociteurs....Carrying on with a sham

travesty of brotherhood that's nothing but a hollow charade.

As opposed to the brotherhood and camaraderies shown to each other by the Harley Brethren(tm) of the Hells Angel and Gypsy Jokers, right?

There's no place for the sniveling lisp and depraved cowardice of atrociteurs who would make a slobbering mockery of real American motorcycling.

I keep asking for this patriotic hero's DD214.......

Not womenfolk, who by intuition know the deep rumble of the mighty Big Twin as the unmistakable confirmation that real men are in command of the nation's destiny.

So Harley guys control the nation's destiny. Don't forget to wave to Barney Frank or Donald Rumsfeld as they motor on by.....

....know the difference between a real American motorcycle and some knock-off in tin and plastic.

Would that be the 60% made in America Harley or the 80% made in America Goldwing?

· The Toad
17,449 Posts
Re: Give me inline 4s or give me death

Lord help me for once I agree with KPaulCook.

The saddest thing is the inability of bigots like The Trailerman to lay into BMW. It is doubtful the Japanese would have tried to take on the US and Britain had the Germans not begun the whole war. Yet the Japanese constantly get bashed by these abysmally ignorant clowns like TTM while the Germans who did far worse (and twice) are left unmentioned. The whole concept is stupid, but if yer gonna whack on the Japanese, and TTM's opinion is simply an extension of WWII hatred, then you can't exclude the Germans from your hate message

The Trailerman is the classical definition of a racist.

· Registered
13 Posts
Good prose !

But I'd wager only rice-burner riders - which I'd guess most of us are - will ever read the whole essay. Harley riders will be lucky to get past the first two lines before they head to the fridge for another Bud lite and on the way back they'll forget where they were and give up.
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