Just got this letter from South America and thought I'd pass it on.
Bill
My name is Juan. I live in a the small village of Stinklikepoo in Ecuador. Maybe you've seen me with Sally Struthers.
America must have streets of gold, so rich you must be to replace a tire with only one small hole! If you are looking for an environmentally-friendly way to get rid of your old tires, Ecuadorian riders would love to have your old take-offs in any size, with any number of plugs or patches. We could cobble them onto our 30 year old Honda Cubs, which the we now ride on wooden rims wrapped in banana leaves. We could use your crankcase drain oil too - all we have here is fish liver oil, which stinks like sin when it blows by the oil rings we make from the little strips of Spam can metal that coil around the opener key.
We also need annoying aerospace workers on Ninjas, as our meager existence gives us little to laugh at.
Gracias,
Juan