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Investment Group to Revive Revived Excelsior Henderson

Milwaukee (AP)-American Investment Partners announced today that they will invest 100 million dollars to resurect the exciting heritage and brand of the revived Excelsior-Henderson brand name.

The motorcycles, known as the "New New Excelsior-Henderson Super New X All New", a cruiser-styled sporty dirt bike with a small windshield and extra wheels, will harken back to the glory days of 1999, when Excelsior Henderson motorcycles roared down America's roads in select markets in the hundreds, or possibly 1100.

Another model, the "New E-H Heritage Classic Late 1999 Soft-o-Rigid Sporty Tour Classic Super Classic" will have an extra slathering of chrome and will include an umbrella stand made from an elephant's foot.

"We want folks to remember a simpler time, when Gloria Estefan was big news and we were just starting to get sick of "South Park" said Rod Hurlickson, director of Old-New-New Projects at the New New Excelsior-Henderson Motor Company. "The market is ripe for a late-Nineties styled retro-bike."

Industry experts believe American Investment may have paid up to $67.50 on E-bay for the hallowed Excelsior brand name, a marque dumped by Schwinn in 1932 and inexplicably ressurected by sleezy ZZ-Top impersonators in the mid 1990's.

American Investment Partners gained noteriety in business circles for ressurecting such great names as Coleco, Necco, Hupmobile, and George Peppard.
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